Divided We Stand
by Witch Nova
Summary: Sequel to Second Time Around. Severus has been returned to his adult form and recalled to the service of Voldemort. Now he must fight to not only protect his friends but also his own future.
1. Chapter 1

A/N Yes its here at last, the sequel to Second Time Around (if you haven't read that you'll need to understand what's going on). We rejoin Severus, Hermione and their friends at the beginning of the Sixth Year and Severus is once more his adult self.

_**A big thank you to the wonderful WitchRavenFox who is my amazing beta and all round bestest buddy. She does so much good work on my typos.**_

_**As usual I own nothing of Harry Potter, that belongs to the wonderful JKR. I promise to put all the characters back when I have finished playing.**_

_**So sit back, enjoy and if you like, review. I'll be posting every two weeks.**_

Divided

The thestral-pulled carriages finally reached the gates of Hogwarts, Harry and Ron leaping down with little ceremony and not bothering to wait for those of their friends who followed behind.

"I bet the dirty old git has been enjoying himself far too much with our Hermione," said Ron, "I don't know whether I want to stay in our room, who knows where they might have…you know!"

"Ron I really don't want to think about it," said Harry, "And I don't know why we've had to talk about it all the way from London."

"Well you can't seriously think that they've been in separate rooms for the passed week," said Ron, before he grimaced, "You don't think there'll be Snape juniors before too long do you?"

"Ron!"

"What?"

"Shut up will you," said Harry as they followed the crowds up towards the school, "Don't go winding Severus up about it either, you've already told half the people on the train their news without even knowing if they wanted people to know."

"Well they've hardly been shy about anything else," said Ron as the castle loomed before them, "I reckon Dumbledore will announce it in his speech."

"I think Dumbledore will have more important things to talk about than the engagement of a couple of students," said Harry as he noticed several figures prowling the perimeter of the path they walked, "There are Aurors everywhere."

"Probably after Malfoy," said Ron, "Are you going to speak to Severus about what we saw in Borgin and Burkes?"

Harry nodded, "As soon as I can get him on his own," he said, "And away from other ears, beyond your family, him, Hermione and Dumbledore I don't know who I can trust."

"Sev can sniff out a Death Eater from ten paces," said Ron, "He'll let us know who to keep away from but as a general rule anyone with a Slytherin badge is a good bet."

Harry smiled, "Nothing unusual to last year then," he said upping the pace of his walking, "Come on, I want to speak to the two of them before we go to the feast, I want to know what Dumbledore was after when he sent for Severus."

Ron matched him for speed and they headed up towards the castle together, calling out to friends as they passed them by, glad to be reunited with them after the long summer break. They finally hit the castle, the entrance hall thronged with students being herded towards the Great Hall by already exasperated teachers.

Ron began to laugh as he spotted one particularly troublesome group of third years who were ignoring the pleas of Gryffindor's Head of House, "Check out old McGonagall getting all wound up, she…" he trailed off as he realised his words, Harry joining him in surprise as they both looked upon the woman who had gone from their professor to their friend and clearly back to a professor once more.

"That's Minerva," said Harry, "But she's…"

"She's old," said Ron, "That must mean they've found a cure."

Harry paled, "Severus!" he said turning around in the crowd, trying to make out his friend in either the form he knew or the one he remembered, "Ron we've got to find Severus?"

"You don't think that's why Dumbledore…"

"Of course its why," said Harry, "But he can't change back, his mark will come back and Voldemort will kill him."

At the mention of the Dark Lord's name the crowd around them fell silent and the teachers' attention turned to them, Minerva the first to sweep to their sides, an unfamiliar figure that reminded them all the more that they're friend was noticeably absent from the cackle of happy students.

"You two boys better come with me," she said, taking Harry's arm as she led them away from the crowds, the noise commencing again as they left.

"Min…Professor, what happened? Why did you change back?" said Harry.

"Dumbledore and I worked on a cure and the Ministry insisted it be administered," said Minerva, her eyes growing sad as she spoke, "To Severus also."

"So he's a teacher again?" said Harry, "But what about Hermione and what about his mark? Where is he, I want to see him?"

"Calm down Potter, you can't see Severus because he isn't here," she said, "Now look you two, things have altered somewhat and I can't give you the answers. All I know is that you will find Miss Granger in a new private chamber off the Gryffindor common room. Severus left the morning after his return and there appears to have been some unpleasantness but Dumbledore won't share the reason as to why. You may go up and see her if you wish but I warn you, it may be a bit of a shock."

"Is Severus alive?" said Ron.

"I don't know," said Minerva, "Dumbledore guards his council and Miss Granger will not even hear his name. I fear what I thought would be a benefit may have backfired. You should go to your friend quickly, whatever the reason she is in need of you."

Harry and Ron took little persuasion to push through the crowds as they raced to the main stairs, hoping that they wouldn't alter too much on their way to Gryffindor Tower. They reached the portrait entrance, both of them realising that they had failed to ask for the new passwords they would need to gain entrance to the common room. The Fat Lady looked up at them but rather than asking for the customary word her eyes grew sad.

"You should see the state of her," she said, "Whatever that dreadful Snape did to her I hope he pays for it, I knew he never belonged in Gryffindor."

"What Severus did to her?" said Ron.

"Have you not been told?" said the Fat Lady, "Haven't you been warned about her face?"

"Let us in," said Harry with a rising panic, "I know we haven't got passwords but please let us in."

"I really shouldn't…"

"Please, if she's hurt we need to see her," said Harry.

"Alright but just this once," she said, "And don't go running to Dumbledore and telling on me."

"We won't, we won't, just let us in," said Ron.

The portrait swung open and they burst into the room, both of them calling for their friend as they were met by the empty common room.

"There's no need to shout," came a quiet voice from the landing above the stairs, "I knew you were here before you came through the door."

The boys looked up, recognise the silhouette of wild hair in the light of the room but their friend's face remained obscured. Harry was the first to step towards the stairs but Hermione stepped back further into the shadows.

"You should be in the Great Hall," she said, "The feast will start soon and you'll want to see who the Sorting Hat puts into Gryffindor this year."

"You'll need to come down too," said Harry.

"I have permission from Dumbledore to be absent," she said, "I'm not in the mood for crowds."

"What happened Hermione?" said Ron, "McGonagall is old again and she says that something happened to Severus?"

Hermione's sharp intake of breath was enough to have them both heading for the stairs, catching up to her before she had a chance to escape them. Harry caught her arm, tugging her back to face them but swiftly dropping his hold of her with a gasp.

"Your face," he said, "What happened to you?"

Hermione reached up and tried to pull her hair over the deep bruising that went from around her neck and up the side of her face, "Its nothing," she said quickly, "I…I…"

"Say you fell and I'll know you're lying," said Harry moving her hair and gently touching their neck, "They're finger marks."

"Please Harry just forget it," she said, "It'll be gone in a few days."

"Tell me who did this to you," he said darkly, "Tell me and I swear I'll kill him."

"Severus," came the response, though the voice wasn't Hermione's, "Severus did that to her."

"Don't be ridiculous Ron," said Harry, "Severus would never…"

"He did," said Hermione weakly, tears already beginning to pour down her cheeks, "They changed him, the Ministry changed him back and the second he was his old self again he…"

"But why?" said Harry, "He loved you, he was our friend."

Hermione shook her head, unable to meet their eyes, "He never was, he was working for Voldemort all along. Everything was designed to have us begin to trust him; even Lucius attacking him at Christmas was a ploy. He was just getting close to you in the hope that he could take you to Voldemort. I was just a pawn in his scheme."

Ron was already spitting fire and rage at the tale but Harry kept a firm hold of Hermione, shaking her gently in the hope that she would reveal some elaborate hoax that would have Severus appearing from the shadows, young or old, to laugh at them.

"But if that was so why not stay pretending when he changed back?" he said, "We always knew there was a chance he'd become an adult again and it wouldn't have effected our friendship in the least."

Hermione pulled away from him and turned to face the wall, "I guess his nature was harder to hide. When he changed back, I was frightened and I thought he would give me time but he… when I refused him he grabbed me. I begged him to stop but he wouldn't," she said, her shoulders shaking as she spoke, "When he was done, he left me and returned to Voldemort. He's dangerous Harry and its all my fault, I should have listened to you back in September and stayed away from him."

Harry's expression darkened as Hermione covered her face with her hands as she wept quietly with her back to them, neither he or Ron knowing whether or not to touch her as the gravity of her words sunk in.

"I trusted him," said Harry, the words thick in his mouth, "I thought he was my friend. All those things we told each other, everything he shared with me about my mum."

Hermione choked but she forced the words past her lips, "It was all lies Harry, all of it," she said, "Severus isn't who we thought he was."

Harry finally stepped forward, laying his hands on her shoulders and stroking gently, "I'm so sorry Hermione," he said quietly, "But for what he's done to you believe me, I'm going to make him pay. I'll make what Lucius did to him seem merciful."

Hermione all but wailed as she began to cry all the harder, pulling away from him, "Please, please no more blood," she said, "Just stay away from him Harry, you have to keep yourself safe. He's so powerful, he'll take you and then where would we be?"

"Alright, alright," said Harry, waving Ron down as the redhead tried to persuade him otherwise, "I just want you to feel better."

Hermione said nothing, her back to them as she sobbed all the harder into her hands. Harry finally stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders, rubbing gently as he pressed his cheek against her hair, glad when she leant back slightly against him.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I'm so sorry, if I'd known…"

"How could you have known?" said Hermione, her voice dull, as she stepped away from him and turned to face them once again, the bruising on her face thrown into stark contrast by the dim light, "You should go to the feast, the others will be wondering where you are."

Harry shook his head, "No, we'll stay with you," he said, "I'm sure Dumbledore…"

"Will be expecting you," finished Hermione, "Please. I want to be on my own. I'll see you in the morning for lessons."

"Hermione…" began Ron but Harry took hold of his arm.

"We'll see you tomorrow then," he said.

"Thank you," said Hermione, "I'm glad you're here. I would have owled but I didn't want to upset you. You don't know how good it is to see you. If you need me, my room is to the left of the stairs to the girl's dormitories, the green door. Dumbledore at least let me have some privacy."

Harry nodded, clearly wanting to stay at her side but knowing that she needed the space she asked for, "Come on Ron," he said, "We'll see you in the morning Hermione, try to get some rest."

Hermione forced a small smile, "You will," she said, "I…I know word will get out all the same but don't tell anyone about…this."

Harry felt tears prick his eyes as his friend raised her hand almost absently to her damaged face, "I won't," he said.

He turned away, ushering Ron before him, the details of his conversation with Hermione almost blurring in his mind as he tried to make sense of them. She had been beaten, he could see that but her assertions that it had been Severus who hurt her didn't sit right. Even as cruel as his former Potions Master had been in class he had never physically harmed any of them and had never even given Harry that fear that he would despite how hateful his words could be. The change in Severus the year before had slowly allowed Harry to see what he had believed to be his true nature, memories coming to him of talking late into the night together, the two of them as close as brothers but Hermione's words had destroyed those thoughts, evidence of Severus' deceit clear on her face.

He and Ron were both silent as they headed into the Great Hall, the Sorting Ceremony still taking place and reminding them once more of the changes they were facing as Professor McGonagall undertook her role as Deputy Headmistress once more. They found their seats, Ginny waving them over from where she sat with Neville and Dean, their faces pictures of concern.

"Where've you been?" she whispered.

"Common room," said Harry, "We went to see Hermione."

"Is it true then?" said Dean, "What they're saying?"

"What are they saying?" said Harry, not wanting to let slip any of the knowledge he'd gleaned from Hermione.

"That Severus beat her up," said Neville, "That he turned him and McGonagall back into adults and tried to make Hermione become a Death Eater."

Harry shook his head, "Don't believe the school gossip…"

"Oh I knew it wasn't true," said Ginny, with a relieved sigh, "Even if something did turn Severus back into an adult he always promised he'd stay our friend."

"He's not our friend," said Ron darkly, "Hermione didn't say anything about him trying to make her a Death Eater but the git definitely hit her."

"What?" cried Ginny before she hushed herself as several faces turned to them, "Ron be serious. Severus? Our Severus Snape hit Hermione?"

"Pounded her more like," said Ron, his temper barely reined, "And he tried to strangle her, she had fingerprints on her neck."

There was a collective gasp from the table, those nearby turning to listen as Dumbledore announced the beginning of the feast and the hall exploded into a hubbub of chatter. Ron seemed happy to take the floor, extolling how he had never once trusted their absent housemate and how they had all been duped by the cunning ploys of a Death Eater. Harry however remained silent, his mind turning over all his time with Severus and trying to find any indication that the boy would betray them. He let his glance move to the top table, seeing the pinched features of his house head as she looked over, pain written in her countenance. He moved his gaze to Dumbledore, the old wizard raising a glass in his direction with a familiar small smile but just as Harry had allowed a question to form in his eyes one of the younger Gryffindors stood near the head of the table, blocking the Headmaster from view. When the obstruction finally cleared Harry saw the headmaster turned away from him once more, talking animatedly to Professor Sprout beside him. He cursed under his breath before vowing to speak to him as soon as he could, knowing the headmaster at least would give him all the facts that had left them with two friends absent from their party.

"…and I bet anything that old Snivellus was the one who poisoned me at the Quidditch match against Ravenclaw," Ron continued, unperturbed, "He thought everyone would like him if he took the keeper's post. I always knew he was tricky."

"But he was so nice," said Ginny sadly, "He looked after me when those Slytherin boys set on me and after everything that happened at the Ministry."

"Careful he's not put the Dark Mark on you then," said Dean.

Harry frowned as Ginny all but tore the left sleeve of her blouse to reveal her unblemished forearm, relief flooding her face when she saw it.

"Here, you don't reckon he and Page were carrying on together do you?" said Dean, "Ron said he saw them together now and then."

Anger flooded Harry, unsure quite who it was against; all he knew was the conversation seemed inappropriate when none of them had yet heard the whole story and Hermione was alone in Gryffindor Tower, broken both in heart and body.

"Can we talk about something else?" he said but his cohorts remained silent and he struggled to think up a suitable topic, "Did you see the write up in the _Prophet _about the Malfoy trial?"

The group was silent for a moment but then Ginny, ever empathetic, picked up on his discomfort and helped him along. Soon talk had turned to the fall from grace of Lucius Malfoy and Voldemort's return, uncomfortable topics but Harry found himself happier to discuss them than his two absent friends.

xxxx

Gryffindor Tower was its usual mix of noise and hilarity as they returned for the night, the group immediately gravitating towards one of their favoured spots in the common room. Harry remained quiet as the others chatted, one large chair opposite him conspicuously vacant. He remembered how it had become Hermione and Severus' favoured perch, even before their relationship had been revealed, the size of it allowing them to sit close but comfortably. A memory came to him, all of them gathered near to one another, tired and happy after celebrating the final Quidditch match of the year and Gryffindor's victory. He remembered looking up and meeting Severus' dark gaze, seeing the light there that had been borne from the house's acceptance of him but knowing that it was also due to them finally having formed a true friendship. Bile rose in his throat as his thoughts turned once more to Hermione's battered face and the confusion her words had brought.

"…they say she's hiding because she's got a Dark Mark…"

The whisperings of two fourth year girls as they passed him caused his hackles to rise further, unable to countenance such gossip being laid at Hermione's door. He tuned back into his friends' conversation and found a similar theme, Ron still leading the accusations against Severus. Harry got quickly to his feet, barely pausing to tell the bemused faces that he was going to bed before he stormed up the stairs to the dormitories.

The room looked as it did every year at the start of term, immaculately draped in the house colours with their trunks placed neatly at the end of their beds. It would not be too long until it was a mess once more but that was not the thought that entered Harry's head as he noticed there no longer stood a bed between his and Dean's, Severus' battered trunk nowhere to be seen.

"What's really happened Sev?" said Harry to himself, "Where are you?"

His voice had clearly roused something sleeping as he heard a shuffling in the far corner. He took a step forward but got no further as a familiar feline leapt up onto Neville's bed, her fathomless eyes wide in recognition.

"Hello Lisse," said Harry, heading to the Siamese and scratching behind her ear.

The cat purred and pressed her face into his hand, soft mews of contentment floating to his ears.

"Whatever happened must have been bad for him to leave you behind," said Harry, picking her up and sitting down on his own bed, "What's happened to your master? Where's Severus, Lisse?"

The cat blinked up at him before she gave a soft, sad meow; her master's name clearly reminding her of his absence.

"You don't know either hey?" he said, absently scratching her head.

He continued to pet her silently, his thoughts turning over in his mind and growing more and more outlandish as they went. He had just decided to go to Hermione and persuade her to divulge more of the events when the door opened to admit his roommates.

"What's that bloody thing still doing here?" spat Ron as soon as he spied Réglisse.

"Leave her alone Ron, she's just a cat," said Harry, "She's hardly going to hex us."

"It's Snape's cat, who knows what it can do," said Seamus, "Kick it out in case he's cursed it."

"No!" said Neville, "She won't hurt anyone, you can't kick her out. I'll look after her Harry, give her here."

Harry handed the cat over to him, glad to see Réglisse unperturbed by her new protector, "Thanks Neville."

"I still reckon she's jinxed," said Ron, "Snape's enough of a bastard to do something like that."

"Oh shut up Ron," said Harry, a decision finally coming to him as he reached into his trunk and pulled out his invisibility cloak, "Don't wait up."

"Where are you going?"

"To get some answers," said Harry, not waiting for any further comments to stop him.

No one noticed him leave the common room, too engrossed as they were by renewing acquaintances and the latest gossip, and the Fat Lady said nothing against his common nightly wanderings. He threw on the invisibility cloak as soon as he stepped out, frowning as it felt bigger on him than ever before; the expression deepening when he realised it had been a long time since he had used it alone. Memory assaulted him once more as he remembered many-a night caught in stifled laughter with Severus under the cape, the ghost of Salazar their favoured game whenever Filch had been particularly cruel to them. He squeezed his eyes tight as the memory transformed itself once more into Hermione's face, bruised and crying, her own words laying blame at Severus' door.

He hurried his footsteps, the stairs clearly tired from tormenting the first years and allowing him easy passage to the ground floor. He heard footsteps at his back and froze, waiting with barely a breath as Professor Vector wandered passed. Her face was bored and she clearly had not the slightest notion that she was not alone. He waited until she had turned out of sight before he continued his journey, keeping to the shadows despite his cloak. The path had been well trodden by him throughout his residency at Hogwarts but it had never felt as foreboding as it did to him now. He finally reached the stone gargoyle that guarded the entrance to Dumbledore's office, the stairs down and the wards high. Harry raised his wand, pushing at the magical protection but when nothing happened he knew that the Headmaster was not within. He knew looking for him would prove fruitless and cursed that in his haste he had left the Marauder's Map in his trunk.

A thought came to him as he slumped back against the wall, reason speaking against the notion but he followed it nonetheless. Ensuring that the cloak was pulled tightly around him he headed a quickly as silence allowed towards the dungeons. Several of the older Slytherin students were still lurking in the corridors, Slughorn proving a much less menacing head of house than Severus had ever been. Harry deftly avoided them as he passed the entrance to their common room and headed to a simple tapestry that he knew hid the entrance to Severus' old rooms. Again he felt the wards, woven to prevent anyone entering. He tested them all the same, frowning as he failed to recognise any of the wards he knew Severus commonly used. He rested his forehead against the tapestry, hoping will alone would open the door and allow him to try and find anymore information than he had been so far provided to him.

Finally realising he had no hope of persuading the wards to drop by mere thought he stepped away from the tapestry and left the dim lights of the corridor, glad when he had finally exited the dungeons and the oppressive atmosphere that always seemed to hang there. With nowhere else to turn so late at night he headed back up the stairs, reaching the common room as quickly as he could and waking the Fat Lady, who grudgingly granted him access. There were still several people scattered around the room but all the faces were sleepy, the excitement of the return to Hogwarts beginning to fade. He headed to the stairs but didn't head up to the boys' dormitories, instead heading to the new door that sat to the left of the stairs to the girls' rooms. He hesitated before raising his hand to knock.

Silence greeted him and his shoulders slumped but then he heard a faint shuffling before a soft voice sounded from the other side.

"Whose there?"

"Its me Hermione," said Harry, "Can I come in?"

Silence greeted him once more before he heard the turn of a lock and the door opened and inch to reveal the less damaged side of her face.

"Are you alone?" she asked.

"Just me," he said.

The door opened a little further as Hermione stepped back, allowing him to enter. He slipped into the room and closed the door behind him, unsurprised as Hermione immediately reinstated the locks. The lighting was low but he could still see the well appointed room; a bed, larger than those in the dormitories, stood in one corner with a wardrobe and desk placed opposite. Her trunk sat at the base of the bed, its lid open and the inside decorated with pictures from the previous year. Harry couldn't help but notice that the largest of the pictures given pride of place in the centre was of Severus and Hermione on the night of the ball, the night they had finally admitted their feelings for one another. Hermione clearly saw his gaze and moved passed him to close the lid, her tired eyes questioning him.

"What can I do for you?" she said, her voice quiet in the silence of the room.

"You can talk to me," said Harry, setting his cloak down on the bed, "What happened Hermione?"

She sucked in a breath, her hand coming once more to her face, "I told you what happened," she said, her eyes bent on the carpet, "He beat me and then he left, he went back to Voldemort."

"I can understand him returning to Voldemort," said Harry, "If he got older and his mark came back he wouldn't have had a choice but are you really telling me that Severus hit you? That he could do that to you?"

Hermione turned her back on him, her hand dropping to fuss with the collar of her shirt, "That's what happened," she said, tears apparent in her voice, "We came here and the Ministry forced him to change. The second he was his old self he…he's always been working for Voldemort."

"Hermione…"

"Do you really think the more you ask the question the more likely I am to change my story?"

"No," said Harry, stepping round to face her and taking hold of her hand before she could drop it from her collar, prising her fingers from around the thin gold necklace and letting the pendant of it rest in his palm, the obsidian and diamonds that decorated the band glittering in the low light, "But you might explain to me why you still have his ring."

Hermione snatched the ring from his hand, spinning away from him once more.

"You were looking at his picture, you're still wearing his ring," said Harry, "If Severus truly did what you say surely you'd have burned the photos and got rid of your engagement ring."

"Not if I still loved him," said Hermione quietly, "Not if I…he was mine, Harry. That perfect boy, he was mine. The Ministry forced him to change and I lost him then, he became…the cursed mark, it changed him and he was so cruel and so cold. He'd lied all the time he was with us but I…I can't stop loving the boy he was."

"Oh Hermione," said Harry, feeling the tears prick his own eyes, "I can't believe he…we trusted him, he was our friend. I can't believe he did this after all we've been through together."

"We never should have trusted him," said Hermione, her voice distant and hollow as she kept her back to him, "He knows so much now, all your weaknesses and he'll pass them to Voldemort in the hope it will help him defeat you. That's what last year was all for, to get close to you and know everything that you know. I just helped him get closer."

Harry clenched his fists at his sides, anger warring against upset as the extent of the betrayal hit him, "Well when I get my hands on him…"

"No Harry!" cried Hermione spinning back around to face him and taking hold of his arms, "No you mustn't go after him, you mustn't go near him, you'd be in danger."

"He hurt you," said Harry.

"I'll heal," said Hermione, her tears tumbling down her cheeks, "And I can't put you in danger. You need to stay safe, so you need to stay away from Sev…Snape. You need to stay away from Snape. Please promise me Harry, promise me you won't go near him. Look at my face, if he's capable of this with no provocation then what else could he do?"

"I'm not afraid of Snape, I never was," said Harry.

"But I am," said Hermione, "I'm terrified, so you stay away from him. Just forget him and then maybe I stand a chance of forgetting him to. Please Harry, for me."

Harry said nothing but hugged his friend tightly, his own heart breaking at both her pain and his own, and knowing that if Severus Snape dared ever cross his path he would have as little mercy as he had shown Hermione, the risk be damned.

xxxx

A/N Please leave a review and check my profile for information on how to follow me for story teasers.

_**Nova x**_


	2. Gifts

**A/N What an amazing response to chapter 1. I'm so glad that you're all enjoying this. Thanks once more must go to my amazing beta WitchRavenFox who finds and corrects all my bloopers- thank you Twin!**

Gifts

"Severus."

The sound of her own voice roused Hermione from her dreams, the object of them fading from view as she blinked open her eyes to find herself alone. She pressed her face into her pillow once more, a white shirt wrapped around it that she could pretend still smelled of the boy who had worn it despite her own scent having replaced it several nights before. She bit back her tears, her eyes already feeling gritty from the crying that had finally taken her off to sleep the night before. Her hand snuck on instinct beneath her collar and took hold of the ring that hung around her neck. She traced the stones, the familiar bumps well mapped by her fingertips as each pass came as a small prayer for the man who had given it to her.

She reluctantly sat up, her solitary room in Gryffindor Tower quiet in the early morning light that streamed in through the window. She scrubbed at her eyes with the sleeve of her pyjama top before she slipped out of bed, padding softly to the small washroom to the side of her room. She missed the chatter that normally accompanied the mornings at Hogwarts but she was glad of the privacy the room gave her, relieved of the need to answer questions or endure the pitying looks of her friends. She regarded her own reflection, her eyes heavy and drawn and her hair a wild mess but it was the heavy bruising down the left hand side of her face and her neck that marred her the most. She touched the finger marks on her neck gently, the approximation of the size of his hands but she doubted they were perfectly correct only having a brief time with him when he had been returned to his adult form to make any judgement.

She picked up her wand and softened the bruises on her face, the charm simple but effective, allowing her to maintain an illusion of slow healing that gave weight to the stories she was forced to tell. She refused to think of them as lies; lies implied that there was malice behind her words but the stories she had woven were designed to protect those she cared about. She had returned to Hogwarts with Severus so full of hope for their future, her engagement ring newly on her finger and a head full of youthful dreams they had woven together in the months they had spent as friends and then deeper. They neither of them had thought of the fate that had awaited them, Severus given the choice between relinquishing his youth willingly or under duress in Azkaban. He had begged and cried for his freedom but Dumbledore had stood firm, leaving them alone with the vial of potion that would restore him to his true age. They had ignored it at first, leaving the potion in the small sitting room and retreating to his old room. They had made love, the pair of them longing to block out the fear hanging over them with the act that had always brought them so much comfort but Hermione knew, even as she fell asleep in his arms, that she would not wake up to the face of the boy she had fallen in love with.

When she had woken she had found him sat alone in the sitting room, older once more but it had been the bloody mark on his left arm that had concerned her more than his age. Her heart had swelled with love for him as she realised the extent of his bravery and had broken when he had been swept from her at Voldemort's command. His return had brought her more joy than she had ever thought it possible to feel, as in love with his true form as she had been with him at sixteen but the news he had brought had left her bereft. Called to the service of Voldemort he had been forced to leave her and she had been called upon to concoct the tales she now told her friends in the hope of keeping both them and Severus safe.

She left the bathroom and returned to her room, dressing in her uniform and wondering if anyone would notice that the tie she fastened around her neck was longer than those normally issued to the girls in the school. Unable to find anything else to keep her busy she picked up her bag and headed to the door, pausing a moment to allow herself to remember when she would enter the common room to find Severus waiting for her by the fireside, his long black hair reflecting the light from the flames. She pushed aside the thought, the day already set up to be difficult enough without thoughts of happier times following her around every turn.

She stepped out into the common room, several nearby conversations halting as she was noticed but she held her head high and moved further into the room. She saw Harry and Ron sat by the fireside, the two of them in quiet conversation and still in their pyjamas. Deciding the best form of defence was attack she squared her shoulders and headed straight to them.

"Shouldn't you too be dressed by now?" she said, "You'll be late for breakfast."

"Free period," said Ron tucking his hands behind his head as he leant back in his chair.

Harry got to his feet and hugged Hermione tightly, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine Harry," she said, "And why have you two got a free, we've got…"

"Potions," said Harry, seeing the emotions that flooded his friend's face at the word, "We needed an O to get into a NEWT class. Snape made that quite clear on the first day of term last year."

Hermione nodded, congratulating herself that the sound of his name at least did not send her into a fit of tears once more, "You'll miss breakfast," she said, feigning nonchalance.

"The elves will bring something up," said Harry, "Unless you want us to come down with you?"

Hermione wanted to dismiss the offer but she knew that all eyes would be on her as she entered the great hall and she longed for the support of her friends, "I'd like it if you would," she said, "Everyone's going to be watching."

Harry nodded, "Right then," he said, turning to Ron and kicking his legs off the coffee table where he had just propped them, "Come on, we're going to breakfast."

"But you said…"

"Breakfast," said Harry heading to the boys' staircase, "We'll be back in a minute Hermione."

"Take you're time," she said, "First morning is always mad with the first years trying to work out what everything does."

Ron reluctantly followed Harry back up to the boys' dormitory and Hermione took his relinquished seat by the fire. She knew there were several sets of eyes watching her but she kept her gaze on the fireplace, the dancing flames a welcome distraction. A notion came to her that she had to push down by force, the thought of using the fireplace to floo to Severus. He had referred to his home as 'Spinners End' more often than not and she knew from his stories and the faint trace of a well-tempered accent in his more youthful form that it was somewhere north of York, it would take her moments to get there but she feared what she would find. There'd been no word from Severus since he had left Hogwarts despite her asking Dumbledore everyday for news. Severus had told her that he had been summoned to serve at Voldemort's side but she began to doubt the truth of it, wondering if he had known that he was going to his death and had offered her the comfort of another belief. Her heart constricted as she thought of flooing to his house to find him dead, the reason unidentifiable to muggle means but clear to anyone of magical ability. The macabre train of thought continued, wondering if Voldemort himself would have struck the fatal blow or allowed one of his foot soldiers to do so. She had seen a dead body before but only freshly killed and she wondered what she would find if he had been dead a week with the weather still warm. She felt the bile rise in her throat at the thought and swiftly swallowed it down, her hand flying to her neck and clutching her engagement ring.

"You're alive," she said softly to herself, "I know you're alive Severus."

She wished that there was some way for her to be sure of her assertion, longing for as little as an owl or a word from Dumbledore that he had heard from Severus. She had hoped that he would have gotten word to her somehow, even managed to slip into the school in the dead of night but if he had done he had not had the chance or the ability to come to her. She bit back the threat of tears, knowing she would have to busy herself in the hope of pushing them away once more. She reached into her bag and pulled out her diary, knowing the timetable within by heart already but checking it over once more. She could not, however, drag her eyes away from the first lesson she had. Potions. It had been her first Potions lesson of the fifth year when she had watched her Head of House and Potions Master thrown across the room by an exploding cauldron, the first time she had seen her acerbic teacher as the youth he had once been. She remembered the first time he had thrown back the long curtain of raven hair, revealing his pale, aristocratic features that had her immediately intrigued. She wondered if she had loved him from the outset before he had ever uttered a kind word to her, before she had ever felt the strength of his slim fingers curl around her own, before…

"Bloody hell Mione, that's a lot of classes."

Ron's voice dragged her from her memory and she looked up as he prised her diary from her fingers, his expression confused as he regarded her timetable.

"Why've you got so many lessons?"

"Some of them are private lessons," said Hermione, getting to her feet as Ron handed her back the diary.

"Private lessons?" said Harry.

"I'm being advanced," said Hermione, "I'm going to take my NEWTs at the end of this year rather than next."

"You're leaving us?"

Hermione shook her head, "No, just taking my exams early and then I'm going to apprentice for a year under Professor Slughorn. I want to be a Potions Mistress and Dumbledore…he said he'd help me."

"Wow that's amazing," said Harry, "Not that you're not brilliant. I bet you could have taken your NEWTs years ago but I've never heard of Dumbledore advancing anyone."

"Its not common," said Hermione, "But he decided, with what happened, that it would be better for everyone if I wasn't a student for much longer. At least this way I only have to hear everyone talking about me for a year."

"If anyone says a word you don't like they'll have me to deal with," said Ron, puffing himself up ridiculously.

"I don't need anyone to fight my battles," said Hermione sharply before she softened, "Sorry Ron."

"Come on," said Harry, "Lets get downstairs before all the food is gone, I don't fancy eating something the owls have already been at."

Hermione forced a smile as she followed. The halls of Hogwarts were as busy as ever, noisy as the first years tried to find their way around whilst those who had been in residence previously called to friends from other houses that they had yet to be able to greet. Several conversations hushed as she passed but Harry and Ron pressed close to her on either side and she was glad of their support. The great hall was alive with movement, people scrambling for the choicest options for breakfast and sharing stories of the holidays. Hermione raised her eyes to the teachers' table, the sight of Professor Slughorn sitting in what had been Severus' seat jarring her despite it being a year since he had vacated it. Her eyes followed the line to Minerva, older once more and looking pinched and strained, Hermione allowed herself a moment of cruelty in believing that it was the suffering of her conscience that gave her such a look. She didn't linger long enough to catch the Transfiguration Professor's gaze but she clearly already had the Headmaster's attention as he raised his glass to her. Hermione scowled, unwilling to forgive his part in Severus' absence despite him having honoured the promises Severus had asked of him the night he left.

She quickly took her place, settling herself between Harry and Ron and reaching for the coffee pot. She poured one for herself before she turned to her left, pausing only when she saw the cup already filled with tea, Harry's preferred drink. She slowly placed the pot back down and warmed her hands around her own cup, realising she would probably have to face so many moments of memory as she went through the day. She heard her friends talking to her and her own responses but they were distant; it was only the arrival of the mail owls that seemed to stir her from her reverie. She rarely got messages by owl, her parents never brave enough to venture to Diagon Alley to send her mail, preferring to send the messages via the muggle post that reached a friendly point just outside Hogsmeade and was then transported to the castle. It was a shock therefore when a heavy package landed on her empty breakfast plate.

She looked around her, wondering if maybe an owl had dropped the package early and missed its charge but everyone had their own mail and paid no heed to hers. She looked down and her heart stilled, recognising the familiar spiky handwriting and before she had a chance to fully comprehend her actions she was ripping at the plain brown paper. A book fell from the package but nothing else and she felt a momentary pang that no letter fluttered down from it. She was glad however that there was no evidence of the sender as Harry lent over to look at the book.

"What's that?" he said picking up the somewhat shabby tome, "_Ancient Potions and their advancements_. Is that a set book?"

"For my private tuition," said Hermione, "Its hard to come by so I had to get it second hand."

"It's a bit…decrepit," said Harry with a sniff.

"Its well loved," said Hermione, taking back the book and running a hand reverently over the cover, barely covering the smile that came to her face, "I'd better get to Potions. Can't have old Slughorn thinking I'm given over to being late if I want to be his apprentice."

Hasty goodbyes followed her as she left the hall, far too early for the start of lessons but she didn't care for the appearance, knowing that most would attribute her swiftness to the desire to be alone with her pain. She hurried to one of the many hiding places she and Severus had taken advantage of, secluding herself between the wall and the pillars that obscured her. She sank to the floor, stuffing the paper wrappings into her bag before she propped the book on her knees. The cover was shabby and the spine a heartbeat away from breaking, a well loved and well thumbed book and she trembled as she thought of how often his hands would have caressed the volume, eagerly learning all that was within.

"Severus," she said almost reverently as she opened the cover, the pages crackling with age.

Almost immediately his handwriting greeted her, notations and advancements on the potions listed within the pages. She smiled at the familiar image, so often had she shared his heavily annotated potions book. She continued to flip the pages, pausing now and then to read his alterations to the methods within. She paused however on turning a page as she found something out of place, a folded piece of parchment that looked far newer that the pages it was nestled within. With trembling hands she picked up the parchment and unfolded it. The note was short but she smiled all the same.

'_To P.B. I miss you. Love always. D.B.'_

She felt tears in her eyes at the note but for the first time in days they were tears of happiness rather than sorrow. He was alive, he was missing her and he still loved her. She stroked the book once again, realising it was probably from his private collection and it warmed her heart that he would send her something he clearly loved. She closed the book and pressed both it and his note against her heart, cursing the sound of the bell that called her to her first lesson when she was forced the relinquish the moment of contentment. She got to her feet, concealing the note in the book once more and placing them both securely in her bag, and headed swiftly to the dungeons. She felt light on her feet as she all but ran down the stairs, the first into the dungeons but the dim light did nothing to dispel her mood. She was brought to a halt though as she passed the entrance to Severus' chambers, sensing the wards as she grew closer. She could break them with ease if she wanted, Dumbledore having shown her when she had demanded to be allowed to access his rooms whenever necessary but the fact that it had been Dumbledore rather than Severus to tell her the charms reminded her once more that he was not behind the doors.

She hurried along to the Potions classroom, knocking politely on the door before stepping inside, Professor Slughorn already on the raised platform by the blackboard.

"Good morning Professor," she said softly, catching his attention.

He looked up and offered her a nervous smile, "Good morning Miss Granger," he said before he added an after thought, "How are you feeling dear?"

Hermione managed a smile, having little doubt that her professors would have been appraised of her invented situation by Dumbledore, "I'm fine thank you Professor," she said, "Keen to start the year and focus on my exams."

"Yes I must say I was pleased when the Headmaster told me that you would be tutoring early for your NEWTs," said Slughorn taking her hand and leading her to a seat near the front where several cauldrons were bubbling away, "And of course I was honoured to hear that you were wishing to apprentice in Potions. I may have only had you for part of a year but I was always impressed by your intelligence. Of course I can't take all the credit, Professor Snape tutored you for many… oh my dear forgive me."

Hermione raised her hand to still the apology though her heart constricted at the sound of his name, "Its alright professor," she said, "Professor Snape taught me a lot and I can't expect people not to mention his name."

"Even so, what happened to you," said Slughorn, "What he did…"

"I'd rather not be reminded," said Hermione, grateful as she heard the sound of feet outside before the door opened to admit the other students.

Hermione waited for the throng of pupils to quiet down, her anger threatening her as she thought of Severus' name being so badly damaged. Slughorn began the lesson, rattling away about the structure of the year for their NEWT studies and how difficult they would prove to be. The lecture was interrupted as the door opened once more to admit Harry and Ron, the both of them a surprise addition to the class and unprepared as Slughorn sent them to the cupboard to borrow the often battered class books in place of their own. Hermione turned her attention back to her teacher, not bothered as she noticed the boys scuffling, no doubt being childish over the borrowed book's binding. As soon as Slughorn posed a question as to the nature of one of the potions she placed her hand in the air, academia a welcome distraction however it was the nature of the potion that once more threw her. Amortentia, she had read about it and began to rattle off its properties barely realising her own words as she spoke.

"Its rumoured to smell differently according to what attracts the person," she said, "For example I can smell new parchment, freshly mown grass and…"

She trailed off, realising she was so close to just saying Severus' name, the unique scent of him permeating the air around her and bringing a heat to her cheeks as it stirred so many vivid memories. She hastily stepped back from the cauldron, glad that Slughorn didn't hesitate to continue his lecture as the other girls gathered gravitated towards the powerful draft.

The revelation of how near she was to revealing her secret hit her hard and she barely realised that they had been set a task, Slughorn offering them a vial of Liquid Luck as the prize. She knew the theory surrounding the Draft of Living Death, Severus having introduced her already to the majority of the NEWT syllabus over the summer but she had never made an attempt herself. She set her focus on the task, immediately missing her partner's presence as the brewing grew trickier. She was not the only one struggling, groans issuing from various students as their attempts went awry. The only one not struggling was Harry as he streaked ahead of them all with a confidence he'd never shown before. Hermione risked a glance over to his workstation after one particular triumph and caught sight of his borrowed text book, the familiar spiky writing leaping out from the page.

Confusion hit her as he seemed unperturbed to be using a book annotated in Severus' hand when the night before he had been fit to kill him but she soon realised that he had not recognised the script. It had been she who had written their owls to Harry over the summer, signing Severus' name on his behalf, and other than the odd occasion Harry had never had any cause to make any close scrutiny of his friend's hand. She smiled a little to herself as she thought of Harry still being guided by his friend but the thought was cut short as her own potion was left neglected and began to bubble a thick, lurid green.

The lesson finally concluded and Hermione cursed all her distractions as her potion rivalled the first years in its execution whilst Harry surpassed them all, earning him the vial of Liquid Luck. She felt a pang of jealousy that he had succeeded with Severus' inadvertent help, knowing how difficult time was going to prove without him by her side.

xxxx

Several weeks had soon passed by, the daily life of Hogwarts seemingly having all but forgotten the presence of Severus Snape but for Hermione it was not so easy to forget either the boy or the man as each turn brought a memory to her. She had not heard a word from him since she had received his gift of a potions book on her first day back at lessons and Dumbledore maintained that he had heard nothing of relevance either. She was glad her lessons took up so much of her time, her week only offering up two free periods when she was not either in her normal lessons or the private lessons that were preparing her for her NEWTs. Homework ate into her evenings and she found she had ample excuses to retreat to her room whenever the common room grew too overwhelming. She did find solace in her studies, the advanced lessons challenging her although her tuition in both Transfiguration and Defence Against the Dark Arts riled her. Dumbledore refused to trust Page with Hermione alone and had therefore taken it upon himself to instruct her however, more often than not, he would send a last minute message to say he would not be able to make her class and she was left doubting if she would ever be ready for the practical part of her exams.

Transfiguration was proving even harder for Hermione, despite her teacher being present at every lesson. Professor McGonagall had resumed her position as Transfiguration Mistress at the beginning of term and Head of Gryffindor House and Hermione was required to see her not only for her private Transfiguration lessons but also for weekly sessions to review her progress. Although she maintained a polite façade, Hermione could not forgive or forget the older witch's actions that had been so complicit in Severus' face. The air was always strained between them and Hermione knew it would not be long until one of them broke.

The bell sounded but the class of sixth years were strangely silent, at odds with the rest of the school as they rushed to their next lesson. Professor Irina Page ruled the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom with an iron fist, most classes managing to lose at least ten house points for the most inane of crimes. Silence was paramount unless spoken to and practical work seemed to be part of the curriculum that Page was choosing to ignore. Even the Slytherins slunk from her classroom with bruised egos, none gaining favour in her eye despite her outside affiliations.

Hermione was glad when she finally stepped out of the dim classroom and the volume of her classmates gradually increased, all of them bemoaning the presence of their teacher.

"She's worse than bloody Snape ever was," said Seamus from a few paces ahead of her, "At least that greasy old git at least let us do something in his lessons even if he was a bastard."

Hermione winced at his words, the boys having quite happily pushed aside their friendship in place of cruel remarks and victimisation. She hated not being able to offer a retort in his defence but was glad at least that the comments were kept to a minimum when anyone thought she could hear. Dean and several of the Hufflepuff boys joined Seamus, sport clearly to be found in comparing the two teachers before speculating on their crimes as Death Eaters.

"I'll tell them to shut it if you want me to," said Harry at her back.

"It wouldn't do any good," said Hermione, hugging her text book a little closer to her, "Besides, they need to blow off a little steam after that lesson."

"I bet Snape taught Page all she knows anyhow," said Ron, always happy to get in a jibe whenever Hermione didn't seem too depressed.

"I'd rather we just didn't talk about him," said Hermione, "I'll see you at lunch."

"Why don't you come to the common room for a bit?" said Harry, "We've got a free."

"I've got a meeting with McGonagall," said Hermione, "Hopefully it won't take too long."

"Then promise to come to the common room after," said Harry, "We never get to see you these days."

Hermione hugged him tightly before turning and repeating the same with Ron, "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm just so busy and, well, I just wish people wouldn't go so quiet when I walked into the room. I'll try to come by after my session though."

"Please," said Harry, "I know why you didn't want to celebrate but everyone is upset that we didn't get to see you on your birthday, especially your seventeenth."

"Its just another year Harry," said Hermione, "There'll be other birthdays. I'd better go."

The boys offered no further protest as Hermione left them, pushing her way through the sea of students who were hurrying to class. The sun was still warm as it beat down on the Transfiguration courtyard, the place a suntrap as it filtered the light into the surrounding walkways. Hermione slowed her steps, enjoying the growing quiet as lessons started and prolonging the time she was away from her House Mistress. It seemed whenever she was with the older witch she had an internal soundtrack of Severus' desperate sobs playing in her ear, the boy distraught as he had realised the extent of the betrayal from a woman he looked upon as a sister. The pain was increased for Hermione as McGonagall play-acted the innocent, never once mentioning her year as a student or the events of the night that had seen her age restored.

Finally Hermione's own abhorrence of tardiness caught up with her and she headed towards the office just off the Transfiguration classroom, knocking sharply on the open door.

"Ah Miss Granger," said McGonagall looking up from a pile of essays on her desk, "Do come in and take a seat."

Hermione crossed the room silently and perched on the chair placed opposite the desk, her hands folded in her lap. McGonagall set aside her essays and picked up a small blue journal bearing Hermione's name, opening it to a page already half populated with her latest grades.

"Professor Flitwick was particularly complimentary on your Charms paper this week," said McGonagall peering over her spectacles at Hermione, "He's keen for me to enquire whether you are certain of your choice of apprenticeship for next year."

"Potions is my choice," said Hermione, "I won't change my mind. I am more than happy to apprentice under Professor Slughorn."

"Very well," said McGonagall, "Your marks have certainly held their own in Potions as in all subjects except for Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"Well with Page as my teacher I could take on another Basilisk and she wouldn't bat an eyelid," said Hermione, "You can't really expect a Death Eater to give a Gryffindor the benefit of her good opinion."

McGonagall frowned but said nothing, scribbling a small note next to Hermione's Dark Arts marks. Hermione didn't bother to strain to see what the note said, knowing that regardless of any of her teachers' opinions Dumbledore would allow her to take her NEWTs as part of his agreement with Severus. The older witch set her quill back down on the desk, steepling her fingers in front of her.

"Your private classes are also showing good progress however I am a little concerned that you have taken on too much," said McGonagall, "Madam Pince has raised a concern that you have often been in the library until very late at night."

"As a NEWT student I'm entitled to be in the library until eleven at night and I wouldn't imagine it would be a surprise that I would be in there," said Hermione.

"Its not a matter of permission or of necessity," said McGonagall, "Your work ethic is one that cannot be questioned however I do think you are missing out on other important parts of your student life."

"If my marks are adequate, I cannot see why anything else should cause concern."

"You were always a very sociable young woman," said McGonagall, "But this year it is obvious to all of us that you have grown quite withdrawn."

Hermione felt herself tense, "With the gossip that was rife about me at the beginning of term I can hardly be blamed for that."

"The best way to deal with gossip is to face it head on," said McGonagall, "In a year you will be an apprentice and removed somewhat from your peers. It is important that you have some society in your life. I would encourage you to look to your friends and whatever could grow from that friendship."

Hermione felt her blood run cold, "Professor are you suggesting I should pursue a relationship?"

"Well there are a lot of nice young men in your year and…"

The older witch trailed off as Hermione took a sudden breath, her eyes wide with shock and dismay.

"I have just lost…" began Hermione, "How can you even suggest that I would want some…some fling?"

"I understand that you were fond of Severus but after all that happened…"

"Don't you dare presume that you know what happened between Severus and I!" cried Hermione, leaping to her feet, "How can you just sit there and pretend that you had nothing to do with what happened, pretending like you're my mother? If I wanted your advice _Minerva _I'd ask for it."

"Might I remind you, Miss Granger, that you are talking to one of your professors."

"Oh go to Hell," said Hermione vehemently before she turned on her heel and headed for the door, ignoring her teacher's calls for her to stop.

She knew she should turn back, apologise but anger burned righteously through her veins, blaming all her ill fortune on the woman who had found the cure that had taken Severus away from her. She didn't know where she was heading but she knew that McGonagall wasn't following. The corridors were empty, classes in full swing and those students with free periods either outside in the sunshine or in their common rooms, so no one stopped her even as the tears began to tumble down her cheeks. She kept up her frantic pace, finding herself descending into the dungeons and hurrying passed the Slytherin common room. She swiftly broke the wards on the door to Severus' rooms, throwing it open and hurrying inside. She slammed it closed behind her and swiftly reinstated the protective charms, pressing her back against it when she was certain no one could enter.

The room was dark and cold and she shivered in the silence before she raised her wand and whispered a quiet _lumos. _The shadows were chased to the corners of the room, the light illuminating the old overstuffed sofa and the book-lined walls. Any other time Hermione would have been in a seventh heaven when faced with so many exquisite tomes but even books held no delight for her as her senses were assaulted by his lingering scent, the feel of his very presence in the room. She left the doorway, crossing the room swiftly until she reached the small bedroom she had slept in the night Severus had been forced to leave. The sheets had been changed, no doubt the work of the elves before Dumbledore had locked up the rooms and Hermione mourned the loss of them, wanting the drench herself in the memory of him in the hope of chasing away the pain that besieged her. Her tears struck her once more and she fell onto the neatly made bed, curling into the pillows and allowing herself to mourn.

xxxx

Hermione woke to the familiar feeling of gritty eyes and a scratchy throat, not needing long to remember that she had cried herself to sleep in Severus' bed. She blinked in the dim light and moved, pausing only when she felt a weight spread over her. She groped quickly for her wand, encountering layers of warm, soft wool before she found it and quickly illuminated the room. She sat up, the covering dropping to her waist and she frowned as she recognised the familiar shape. She gathered the material to her, pressing her face into the folds and losing herself in the smell of them.

She heard the faint sound of a voice in the room beyond and it broke her indulgence, the timbre distorted by the now closed bedroom door. She pushed off the black teachers' robe that covered her and got to her feet, heading slowly to the door with her wand in hand. She pressed her ear to the door but the voice was still too low for her to make out. A mix of anticipation and fear gripped her, anticipation that she would find the man she had been crying for and fear that the passageway he had once used to reach Voldemort had been discovered and the school had been breached by those looking to do them harm. She placed her hand on the door handle but didn't open it, stealing her courage and pulling the most effective immobilising spell she knew to her mind. She pushed down gently; glad the door didn't creak as she pushed it open slightly.

Light flooded through the small crack, blinding her slightly as her senses caught the smell of the lit fireplace. She risked opening the door a little further and peered out, seeing Dumbledore sat on the sofa before the fire, the light from the fireplace and the candles that illuminated the room reflecting off the half moon spectacles he wore. Hermione knew she had given herself away despite her silence as his eyes suddenly turned to her and he smiled gently.

"Ah Miss Granger, you're awake at last," he said, "I trust you're well rested."

"Yes sir," she said almost automatically as she opened the door fully, "I heard voices."

"Indeed you did my dear," said the old wizard but Hermione's attention was drawn from him to the chair that had been facing away from her.

She gasped, dropping her wand as a familiar figure rose into view, dressed in his once customary black that had been replaced by jeans and colourful shirts during his regression.

"Severus?" she all but whispered as he turned to face her, his smile a rare gift in his adult form.

"Hello darling."

The rich sound of his voice seemed to be the catalyst as Hermione crossed the short distance to him and leapt into his waiting arms, his embrace solid and real as he lifted her from her feet. Hermione said nothing, unable to trust her own voice, instead cleaving to him with a need borne from their weeks of separation, revelling in the feel of his strong hand as it stroked her wild hair. He at least seemed to find his voice but the phrases were few if comforting.

"I'm here. I'm sorry. I'm here."

"I believe I am surplus to requirements," came Dumbledore's more measured tones, "Severus if you would discuss with Miss Granger all that we have talked of."

"Yes Headmaster," was the distracted response but it was enough as Hermione heard the familiar crack of apparition and knew they were alone.

"Severus," she said against his neck where her tears were already soaking the thin white shirt beneath the high black collar, "Oh God I thought you were dead, I was so afraid for you."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't get word to you or Dumbledore, I've been so closely watched," he said, the pair of the sinking to the threadbare carpet, their hold on one another unyielding, "I've wanted so desperately to come home to you."

"I missed you," said Hermione, threading her fingers into the fall of his raven hair, "Its been so hard without you, lying to everyone, missing you, worrying for you."

"I'm sorry," he said again, gently moving her face from his shoulder to meet her gaze, "Please don't hate me for it, I came back as soon as I could."

"I don't hate you, I'll never hate you," said Hermione her thumb catching errant tear that broke from his eye, "But its been so hard."

"Dumbledore told me about the story you've had to live by," said Severus, "I never meant to make a liar of you Hermione."

"Its alright," she said, a small smile coming to her face, "I knew I had to, it kept you safe. I haven't stopped thinking about you."

"Me either," said Severus, his fingers slipping to her chin to better tilt her face to his, "I love you."

Hermione didn't answer him but pressed her lips to his, the connection settling a balm over the cracks in her heart that the separation had created. She was still unused to the feel of his kiss but the emotion soon replaced everything else and she shifted until she was held more surely in his arms, her body pressed against his as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She heard him whispering her name between kisses and it sparked her inner copycat, his name tumbling from her own lips with a joy that came from being able to say it out loud to anyone but herself. Their kisses moved from tentative to certain and Hermione didn't resist as he lowered her towards the floor, his body settling over hers. His weight was another reminder of his presence but as much as she longed to keep hold of him she instead pressed her hands to his shoulders, lifting him from her.

His faced flashed with hurt before it was replaced with resignation as he sat up, "Forgive me," he said, "I don't mean to rush you. I know it's too soon."

Hermione couldn't suppress her smile, reaching up to tuck a strand of his hand behind his ear as it fell in his face, "Silly man, its nothing like too soon but your floor is hardly the comfiest of places," she said, sitting up as he moved back from her.

The firelight caught his hair, streaking it with russet tones that reminded her of his moment of rebellion when he had dyed his hair in the summer. She fussed the soft strands, their length shorter than they had been then but he leant into the touch just the same. He turned his face and pressed a kiss into her palm and then her wrist, pausing to feel the jump of her pulse.

"Hermione," he said, her name still sounding alien in his far deeper tones, "So much has changed since we were last together. I'm so much older than I was and you've been through so much already. I love you and I want you but if you need to walk away from this then do so now and I will understand. I cannot go back to what I was, I can't be that boy for you anymore."

"I didn't fall in love with a boy," said Hermione, her free hand coming to his cheek to keep his gaze on hers, "I knew who you were and you might have looked and acted younger but you were always there underneath. I told you the night you changed back that I still loved you and that hasn't changed. I miss how you were, I won't lie but I miss it because like this you can't be with me everyday. Don't push me away Severus, don't try to convince me not to love you. Even if this visit is brief, even if I don't get to keep you, I want my fiancé with me now."

"All of seventeen and already wiser than me," he said, resting his forehead against hers, "And before you call me an ass for it, yes I know I missed your birthday yet again."

Hermione laughed, "At least I got my present," she said, "I love the book."

"That was just a back to school present," said Severus, "I got you something else for your birthday."

"Can it wait?" she asked, smiling at the confusion on his face before she took mercy on him and popped the top button on his frock coat, "I've got something else I want to unwrap."

"When did you get so forward?" said Severus though he made not attempt to stop her hands as they continued on his buttons.

"Since you left me with nothing but dreams to keep me warm at night," said Hermione, "Besides, I've got a lot to learn about you, last time we were a little too rushed."

"So your request then, Miss Granger," he said prying her hands from her task and setting to work on the clasp of her robe, "Is for your former Potions Master to carry you into his room and let you put your insatiable curiosity to good use?"

Hermione whimpered as he pushed the robe from her shoulders and began to loosen the knot in her tie, his voice stirring the memory of many an adolescent fantasy. She caught his smile at her incoherence before he swept her easily from the floor, her weight seeming little to him as he carried her across the room and into the darkened bedroom beyond.

xxxx

Despite how badly the day had started Hermione found its conclusion to be far more pleasing as warm, sure fingers traced the curve of her waist before moving upwards to her shoulder and then her chin, tilting her face up into a soft, lazy kiss. Several hours beforehand she had woken alone in Severus' lonely room but the shadows had since been chased away as the pair of them had spent their time together reassuring one another that their reunion was anything but a dream. They had been slow in their attentions towards one another, reminiscent of the summer afternoon of their relationship's discovery, Severus giving her time to discover the differences his age had brought to the boy she had known. Hermione had not been disappointed in her explorations, he was taller and stronger than his adolescent form but treated her with no less tenderness and the similarities she found by far outweighed any disturbance she felt by his differences.

"What has got that fuzzy head of yours ticking over?" came his lazy drawl, "I can practically hear the cogs whirring."

Hermione smiled, "Just replaying recent events," she said, her smile widening at the barely masked pride on his face, "You've got some stamina for an old man."

"Will my apparent age be brought up at every opportunity?" said Severus, his eyebrow arched in playful question, "I'll get a complex."

"And you've got enough of those already," said Hermione, squealing in shock as the hand that hand that had been resting gently against her waist suddenly became intent on tickling her, "Stop it, that's not fair!"

"Not until you promise to keep the old man jokes," said Severus continuing his assault.

"Alright I promise," she managed between giggles, holding him place as he made to move away, his body looming over her as she lay back against the pillows, "You know I'm only joking about your age though. I don't care how old you are Severus, not one bit."

"We can't pretend this won't change things," said Severus, "Here it might not matter but out there…"

"Out there can suck it up and deal with it," said Hermione vehemently, "I love you and I'm not giving you up… unless that's what you want?"

"What?" said Severus as he heard the hardness settle into her voice.

"You've not told me why you came back," said Hermione, "And you keep trying to push me away even after what we've just done. So I want to know what this is Severus? One last time before you run off to join your Death Eaters again?"

She knew she'd hurt him as his face grew solemn and he rolled away from her, sitting up on the edge of the bed with his back to her. She wanted to reach out to him, comfort him but hurt and anger had reinstated themselves in her blood and she knew she had to force him to answer her.

"They're not _my _Death Eaters Hermione," he said finally.

"But are you still with them?" she asked, "I saw your mark, much as you tried to hide it, are you still serving him?"

"I don't have a choice in that," he said, "Its not some club you can leave when the conversation gets boring. I have to serve Voldemort, or at least be seen to serve him until he's defeated. I will never be free of him."

"You're free of him now," said Hermione.

"No he knows I'm here," said Severus, "He's the one who sent me."

"What?" said Hermione.

"Voldemort sent me here under strict instructions to win back Dumbledore's trust and reinstate myself as a teacher in the school."

Hermione sat up, hugging the sheets to her chest as she shifted closer to him, stopping short of touching him, "But you said Voldemort had insisted he had to keep you at his side because he couldn't trust you," she said, "You survived being called back to him by a hair's breadth."

"He's a very resourceful wizard," said Severus, "And Page is disappointing him. He's had no decent information on the school since he entrusted the duty to her and so he's elected to send me back in. I'm on a far tighter leash but I can come back."

"But that's wonderful," said Hermione, forgetting her anger and wrapping her arm around him, her palm resting over his heart, "You can come home."

He turned to her, his face solemn as he regarded her, "If it was only that simple," he said, "I am coming home, I will be teaching at the school again but things will not go back to the way they were. You and Dumbledore alone will know the truth, everyone else would be better placed to distrust me as they do now otherwise I risk Voldemort's discovery and then everything will be lost."

"But you'll be home," said Hermione, "You'll be with me. Severus we can be together."

"I'll be your teacher Hermione."

"Then I'll enjoy Potions even more than I already do," she said, placing a finger to his lips as he went to speak, "I won't expose us. I can be as cold to you as you'll need to be to me in class. Dumbledore would not have left me alone with you if he was going to insist upon the school rules."

Severus managed a weak smile, "No he wouldn't," he said, "We were talking for a long time while you were sleeping. He has agreed that we can continue to see one another so long as we're discreet, I somewhat bribed him on that fact. I don't get you; he gets less of my cooperation. Its been agreed that I won't be marking any of your work so their won't be any favouritism for him to worry about."

Hermione frowned, "So how will I get my Potions marks? My apprenticeship?"

"I'm sure Professor Slughorn will continue to dote on you as he currently does."

"So you'll be working with him?"

Severus shook his head, "No, I won't be in Potions," he said, "I'll be working with Page."

"Page?" said Hermione, "You mean you'll be the Dark Arts teacher?"

"One of them," said Severus, "She and I will be working together. Voldemort's idea. She'll be my keeper so to speak."

Hermione was silent, the information both surprising and disturbing her. Severus tugged her into his arms, holding her tightly as he gave her time to process all that he'd told her, feeling her soften slightly as she returned his embrace.

"So you'll be home but working with Page. You'll be my teacher but we'll be allowed to see one another if we keep it a secret," said Hermione pressing her lips to his shoulder, "All in all I don't think we've got that bad of a deal."

Severus laughed, "Ever little miss bright side aren't you?" he said, "I'll be watched at every turn and I'll be at Voldemort's bidding. I will have to keep so much from you because you'll be far too vulnerable if I tell you everything and you will come to resent that."

Hermione shook her head, "No I won't, not if its what you have to do," she said, "I'm not some silly girl Severus, I'm choosing to see the good in this because if I focus on the bad how can I be the rock that you're going to need when you're forced to work for him?"

Severus moved back to see her face, concern etched into his features, "I don't expect you to carry my burdens."

Hermione took his hand from around her and brought it to the chain about her neck, his fingers tracing the shape of the engagement ring he had given her in the summer, "You asked me to be your wife Severus," she said, "If I can't help you carry your burdens then who can?"

Severus traced the chain back upwards until he cupped her cheek in his hand. He kissed her, the touch far surer than it had been and Hermione knew he had been waiting for a sign that convinced him of her commitment to him. She didn't blame him, she knew enough of his past to know their had been few who had genuinely loved him and his fear had been that she was with him through a sense of duty rather than through love. He had soon lowered her back to the bed and conversation was forgotten as they were joined once more, their pace as slow as it had been before but filled with a certainty they had been missing.

When they finally lay silently in the dark room Hermione deliberately moved so that her ear was pressed over his heart, the slowing beat a comfort to her as he trailed his fingers through her hair. She found his other hand with hers, bringing it to her lips and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

"When do you start teaching again?" she asked.

"The beginning of October," he said, "I need to report back to Voldemort tonight to let him know I have won back Dumbledore's trust and then I will be reinstalled as it were. It will be strange, teaching again."

Hermione smiled, "It will be an experience to watch you menace everyone when I know how kind you really are," she said, "I'll have to use all my acting skills to be scared of you."

"I'll be relying on you," he said, "We'll have to be so careful that we give nothing away."

"I'll have to practice disillusionment charms a little more, otherwise I'll never get down here to see you."

Severus laughed, "Planning on sneaking into your professor's room Miss Granger?"

"Well unless you plan on sneaking through the Gryffindor common room to mine, sir?"

"Oh I know a way into yours," said Severus, helping her to sit up, "Get dressed and I'll show you."

Hermione gave him a quizzical look but knew he would not impart any more knowledge until she had obeyed. She dressed in her uniform, moving faster than he did and pulling him to her as he shrugged on his long black frock coat. She deftly fastened each of the tiny buttons before she smoothed her hands over the rich material, her eyes running over the familiar silhouette. She lifted her face to his, standing on tiptoes to kiss him.

"You're so much taller than me now," she said.

He smiled before his hands closed around her waist and he lifted her with ease, "Better?" he said, kissing her again.

"Definitely," she said as he lowered her back to her feet before he took her hand and lead her from the room, back into the living area they had left hours before.

He retrieved her wand from the floor and handed it to her before he pulled her bag onto his shoulder, waving off her protest with a look that reminded her of her Potions lessons when she had bombarded him with questions. He led her towards his fireplace and extinguished the flames, helping her to step inside before he reached for the floo powder held in a small bowl on the mantle.

"Hermione's room," he said clearly before they were swept into the swirl of the floo network.

The journey was brief and Hermione was glad as they hit solid ground once more, surprised to find herself in her own room despite his words.

"But how…?"

"Dumbledore," said Severus quietly, as voices echoed from the door beyond, "Your room is connected to mine so you can floo to me or we can talk through the network if we need to."

Hermione smiled, "That's wonderful," she said as he took her hand and led her to the bed, sitting her down on the mattress before he did so beside her.

"When I come back we will need to decide on the safe times we can be with each other," he said, "I will need you to be patient at times."

Hermione nodded, "I will," she said, with a smile, "Even if I only get to see you for a few hours a week at least I'll be with you."

"I'm sure we can manage more than a few hours," he said, "But we must be cautious."

"We will be," said Hermione.

Severus brought his fingers once more to the chain around her neck, tracing the shape of her engagement ring, "Even knowing I will return in under a fortnight doesn't make it any easier to leave you."

"Do you have to go?" said Hermione mournfully as she already knew the answer.

"I'm expected," he said, "But if all goes well I may have a little more freedom. I may be able to owl and if I can come back to the school I will. If you find a rose on your dresser you'll know I'm waiting for you in my rooms."

Hermione smiled, "You really are a romantic thing," she said before she kissed him, knowing she would be longing for the touch when he finally left her.

"Try not to look too pleased with yourself when you head to dinner tonight," he said when they finally broke apart, "You're meant to be horrifically scarred by the events of August."

Hermione schooled her expression into a mockery of sadness, "Will this do?" she said before a true frown took her features, "Oh my I've missed lunch and my afternoon classes, everyone will wonder…"

"You've been at a private meeting about your NEWTs with Dumbledore all afternoon," said Severus, "You discussed your marks, private lessons and your apprenticeship."

Hermione relaxed at his words, glad she didn't have to think up any excuse, "Of course," she said, "How could I forget?"

"Good girl," he said before he smiled sadly, "I really must go."

Hermione wanted to protest but nodded, "Take care of yourself," she said as they both got to their feet, "Don't give Voldemort any reason to doubt you."

"I won't," he said, "And I'll owl if I can."

His kiss when it came was one of farewell, firm yet without the passion that had taken them to his bed, a reminder that he would return to her as soon as he could. He stepped back into the fireplace and gave the direction for his rooms, disappearing in the flash of green flame. They hadn't said goodbye, the word would have proved to hard for them but the kiss had been enough. Hermione felt the smile on her lips as she stepped away from the fireplace, flopping down on her bed with a contented sigh. Her hand fell on something unfamiliar and she sat up, smiling at the neatly wrapped box that she had not seen him place on the bed. She realised he must have shrunk the box to fit it in a pocket before a brief wand-less spell had restored it when she was distracted.

She opened the paper and the box therein, another book revealed to her but this one was paperback and muggle in nature. She smiled at the language text, modern Chinese but it was the note inscribed in the cover that made her heart flutter.

"Shanghai, our first point of call when we go travelling and we will go travelling, I promise you. Thought you might want to get started. Happy Birthday my darling. I love you. Severus."

She was glad that he still held hope for their plans, their lives so fraught with worry that a dream was necessary for them to cling to. With a brief glance at the time she knew she had a while before dinner and propped herself back on her pillows, determined to have a few phrases down before she next saw him.


	3. A Working Relationship

A/N: Again thank you for the response for the first couple of chapters. I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far.

_**A shout out once more for my beta WitchRavenFox who is kindly helping me with my story whilst working on her own. If any of you are Twilight fans do check out her first story, United. Ideal for all you Jacob shippers out there.**_

_**I hope you all have a very happy New Year. **_

A Working Relationship

Severus' visit had buoyed Hermione's hopes greatly and she was sure her delight was blatantly obvious despite the mask she still kept in place. Several days passed and she spent the majority of her free time in the company of her friends, Harry and Ron especially glad to have her back amongst them. She enjoyed the familiar chatter of the common room, Quidditch the topic of choice with the trials approaching on the weekend. Ron was applying himself to the challenge with a gusto Hermione wished he had shown for his OWLs, many an hour spent studying books of tactics to better learn the techniques he would need to regain his place as keeper.

The only concern that reached Hermione was the looks they kept receiving. She had grown used to the curious or pitying stares but she had long since removed the charm she had woven to make herself look bruised and those stares had lessened. The attentions of Cormac McLaggen, a boy from the year above, had first raised her protective nature as she worried that it was Harry he was watching. Dark thoughts began to plague her that the Death Eaters had infiltrated Gryffindor Tower but she knew if such a threat existed Severus would have gotten word to her regardless of the risk to himself. It was only when she headed to her room to retrieve a textbook one night that she realised that it was her his eyes were following.

She blushed as she met his gaze but not from any mutual attraction, merely through the uncomfortable thought of how much she would have to fight him off now she was considered available. His attentions continued over the days moving to the weekend, Hermione often finding him in places she had previously found herself alone in and she took once more to her room despite her friends' protests in an attempt to avoid his blatant stares. She was glad she had done when not half an hour after she had retired she heard a tapping on her window, opening it to admit a steely black raven that hopped down onto her dresser before proudly presenting its leg. Hermione unwound the piece of parchment before she stroked the soft feathers on its chest. The bird indulged a moment under her attentions before it hopped back onto the window ledge and flew off into the night with a shriek of farewell. Hermione returned to her bed, the pictures she had been looking at spread out on the pillow, happy memories of her and Severus at Christmas when he had returned to her Oxford home with her.

She rolled out the parchment, recognising the charm upon it that had shrunk it to a portable size. She picked up her wand and ended the charm, the parchment increasing in size and the faint black lines becoming a familiar spiky script. She settled back, enjoying the letter Severus had sent as he spoke of nothing in particular except to go over their happier times, the both of them clearly in need of something to cling to. He reaffirmed his date of return to the school and signed off with an expression of love that had Hermione convinced he could rival any poet but she knew she was somewhat biased. She raised her head from the study of his words, almost amazed to find herself alone when his voice had seemed so clear to her. She looked down at the pictures scattered around her and picked up one that showed them both sat beneath the ornate Christmas tree their arms around one another in an embrace that showed to anyone their feelings despite them being unable to admit it to themselves. She smiled at the image before gathering it and the others up, along with the letter, before she set them all into a small wooden box and charming the lock to ensure that only she could open it. She set the box at the base of her trunk before she changed into her nightwear, hoping that it would not be long until she would be able to fall asleep at Severus' side rather than alone.

Morning dawned dull and grey but Hermione for once did not feel reluctant to begin the day. She all but bounced out of bed and pulled on her warmest clothes, having promised Ron and Harry that she would watch the Quidditch trials from the stands. Grabbing her wand, she stamped into her shoes and headed into the common room, the atmosphere once more feeling inviting to her and the student populace seemed content to move onto newer gossip. She knew when Severus returned as a teacher the talk would no doubt start up again but it would not bother her when she knew that he was safe within Hogwarts with her.

The room was already noisy and conversation was predictably Quidditch focused, several people running books on the outcome on the trials, the absence of the Weasley twins clearly not dampening the Gryffindor hunger for a wager. Hermione bypassed several trying to tempt the sickles from her pocket, seeing Ron already sat by the fireside, his head once more stuck in a book.

"People are going to think that you and I have swapped personalities," she said.

Ron didn't look up but seemed to believe that a grunt was a sufficient response to her comment. Hermione shook her head in amusement as she settled back into a chair, glad to see Ginny and Harry heading over to them, the pair in conversation. She saw the attraction between the two of them even if they didn't see it themselves and hoped that Harry would find the support he would need over the coming years in the young woman he was becoming so close to. She felt a slight pang that their romance could play out in broad daylight with no reproach whilst hers would remain behind closed doors but her security in Severus' love made the notion slightly easier to handle.

She smiled as the pair finally joined them, Ron not even responding to Harry's greeting as he continued to focus on his book. They spent a while talking over the trials and Harry's predictions for his team until Ron barked at them all that he was nervous enough without their chatter before he stomped off to the pitch. They all followed him, the majority of Gryffindor house making for the doors with a cacophony of good humour despite the weather that was set to meet them outside.

Hermione finally split from her friends as they reached the pitch, heading up into the stands to watch the trials. She paused on the stairs at the sound of a shout and saw a gaggle of the younger Gryffindor girls swoon slightly as one of the seventh years wandered passed in his robes. She frowned however as she realised just who they were swooning over but did not turn away quickly enough, Cormac throwing her a smile as he met her gaze. Hermione was sure that on any other girl the smile would have had the desired effect but it only made her feel awkward, not wanting the attention he still focused on her. She headed swiftly up the stairs, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a pair of well-loved, red velvet gloves. She slipped them on her hands and smiled, knowing that Cormac would soon be far from her mind. Luck however seemed to be conspiring against her and she felt the boy's eyes on her even as she sat on one of the highest points from the pitch. Dozens of other girls were gathered around her, all of them dying for some attention from the boy's who were trying out, and she wished one of them would catch his eye.

The number of females in the stands perturbed her further realising that so few were out on the field competing for a place on the team. Had she had any desire to fly she would have taken herself into the trials but the heights expected of the Quidditch players put her off the pursuit but she still wished she could head to the field in the hope of putting aside the growing title of _airhead _that seemed to be commonly applied to Gryffindor women.

Harry finally called the group to order and the trials began, the hopefuls all pushing themselves hard to gain favour in his high. Hermione's eyes strayed to Ron, able to see his nerves even though he was so high overhead. She knew the position of keeper meant a lot to him, his application to the task having been paramount, but as she watched she knew that his nerves were getting the better of him. As the trials went on Ron continued to save goals on more luck than skill whilst Cormac, the boy opposing him, managed to do so with more than a little finesse. Hermione smirked to herself as the older boy once more showboated his talents, remembering how Severus had played when he had stepped up for the Gryffindor team and knowing that he could easily outplay even the seventh year's skills. She briefly allowed herself to imagine him walking out onto the pitch, young once more, before taking flight and showing Cormac how it was truly done. The whimsy passed however as a groan went up from the crowd, Ron barely managing to save a goal that threatened to sail right passed him.

With the number of goals conceded evenly tied Hermione knew that Harry would need to pick on apparent skill and that, should Harry be as fair as he was required to be as Captain, would mean Cormac would take up the mantel of keeper for the season. Hermione however had no such rules placed upon her and as a reward for her friend's dedication she whispered a small confundus charm as the chasers sped once more towards Cormac's goal, the boy losing his concentration and letting the quaffle sail passed him. A cheer went up from the spectators around her and Hermione was pleased to see so many showing their support for Ron. She was amused to see Lavender seeming especially taken with him, the girl not a particular favourite of Hermione's but she was glad to see Ron receiving attention over his famous friend for once.

The trials finally ended and Hermione waited with all the spectators as Harry finally stepped up to announce his team for the year. She cheered as loud as any of them as Ron was named the keeper, Cormac sloping from the field even before Harry had dismissed those who had gathered to compete. Hermione felt no remorse for her actions however, knowing Ron had worked hard for the role he was now given. She left the stands with the others, choosing not to push her way through the crowds to the changing rooms as the team was treated like a group of minor celebrities, instead she took a leisurely walk back up to the school.

Her mind had begun to wander as she reached the bridge and she failed to hear the footsteps behind her until they quickened to catch her and she felt a wand pressed to the base of her spine.

"Going somewhere Mudblood?"

The voice was familiar though she was unsure of the name, one of the seventh year Slytherin boys that had taken to terrorising anyone who crossed his path. She had little doubt his confidence was due in part to Voldemort's growing power, very few of those in Slytherin house not bearing a connection somewhere to the Dark Lord.

"Leave me alone," said Hermione, keeping her voice as measured as she could.

The wand pressed tighter to her back as he stepped closer, warm honeyed breath catching her senses as he leaned in close to her ear, "No I don't think I will," he said, "You're quite a legend in our house you see."

"I can't see how I would interest anyone in Slytherin."

"Harry Potter's little friend who became a Death Eater's whore," sneered the boy.

Hermione bristled, "I was no one's whore."

"No?" he said, "My father told me that Snape regales them often with the tales of you. How you begged him to kill you even as he took you. How you screamed. How you cried. How you…"

Hermione cut short the vile diatribe as she elbowed her assailant sharply in the ribs, whirling away from his grip and pulling out her wand before he recovered herself. He cursed and aimed a hex at her but Hermione dodged it with ease, glad to see several of her house approaching the bridge. The Slytherin clearly thought better of continuing his assault and disappeared back towards the castle. She gathered herself quickly, not wanting to cause a scene and turned back to the castle herself, her wand gripped slightly tighter in her hand.

xxxx

The warmth and cheer of the common room had soon dispelled Hermione's worry over her encounter with the Slytherin boy, reminding her that she was surrounded by friends who would protect her regardless of what she was keeping from them. She longed however for Severus' presence in their midst once more, even before their feelings had grown he had been a calming and comforting influence for her, his true age given weight and wisdom to his words as a teenager. The pang was not as sharp as usual though as she let her hand slip into her pocket and curl around the tie that she kept there.

She returned her attention to the _Prophet_, the stories becoming darker as the months went on but she took comfort that at least everyone was aware of the Dark Lord's return and preparing for what could come. In the light of the fire she sat beside she could almost pretend that the paper was no more than a story book, dark tales of disappearances and deaths something to give a playful fright before bedtime. Ron continued to waffle on about his success at the trials, sat on the sofa both Hermione and Harry leant against with an air of authority he had not often displayed before. It amused Hermione greatly that gaining a position on the house team seemed to hold the same weight as being called up to the National side in Ron's opinion at least. Harry dutifully indulged his friend, looking up now and then from the book in his hands to answer Ron's questions on tactics for the coming year.

It had given Hermione great comfort to see Harry still carrying Severus' book with him as though it was a long lost friend despite the advantage it gave him over all of them in Potions. He had still not worked out its owner but stuck to it anyhow, making Hermione wonder if the words reminded him of the former friend she was sure he still missed. He leafed through the pages nightly, sometimes scribbling notes of his own alongside the spiky script. Hermione made a note to tell Severus of the book's fate when she next saw him, hoping it would offer as much comfort as it did to Harry.

The boy seemed to be in deep study on one particular page but, despite several surreptitious glances, Hermione could not make out any of the words in the firelight. He was sounding out a word quietly to himself, spacing out the syllables as though trying to work out their meaning. Hermione turned back to her paper, smiling as Ron once more tried to turn the conversation back to his victory, before Harry leaned over to her.

"Hermione," he said, holding open the tatty book and pointing to a word Severus had written within it, "Do you know what this spell is? _Sectumsempra_?"

Hermione's blood went cold, immediately recognising the spell even though Harry did not. Her mind brought to her unbidden the image of Severus, bloodied and battered, after Remus and Sirius had saved him from Lucius' attack. _Sectumsempra _ had been the spell Lucius had used to cause the worse of the damage, a spell of Severus' own design that had ripped through flesh and bone to damage his lungs and his heart to a point where they could only just be repaired. He had told her much of his invented magic in private after that, telling her of the dark spells he had created in an attempt to ward off the onslaughts from James Potter and his band whenever they chose to make him a victim. He had forsworn such magic long before Hermione had set foot at Hogwarts but its legacy haunted him, a legacy it seemed would now be passed on.

"No I don't," said Hermione, her attitude to the book changing when as she realised the dark place Severus' mind had been when he'd written in it, "And if you knew what was good for you, you would hand it in. Give it here."

"No," said Harry, snatching it back, "The binding is delicate."

His unusual reaction to a book soon prompted the attention of Ron and Ginny sat nearby, Harry more likely to toss a schoolbook on the floor than demonstrate any sort of affection towards it. Hermione followed as he got to his feet; trying to persuade him to hand the book over but he evaded her. An ally however soon appeared and Hermione stepped back as Ginny deftly snatched the book from Harry's hand. She opened the cover and read the inscription on the front page.

"This book is the property of the Half-Blood Prince," she read, "Who's the Half-Blood Prince?"

The rest of the conversation was lost on Hermione though she knew Harry had soon retrieved the book from Ginny's possession, what bothered her more was the identity of the Half-Blood Prince or more precisely why the title was written in Severus' hand.

xxxx

The identity of the Half-Blood Prince became a hot debate between the friends but the talk made Harry more guarded over the book and Hermione got no chance to see it. She began to doubt whether it was truly Severus' handwriting she had seen and even began comparing it to others, the elegant cursive more rigorously taught to generations before her and for all she knew their could be half a dozen of Severus' former classmates who wrote almost identically. She had even taken herself off to the library in search of tales on wizarding royalty but her research only compounded what she knew, there was no royalty in the wizarding world, half-blood or otherwise. She had amused herself by thinking up a rags to riches story for Severus, the little boy from the wrong side of the tracks actually a lost prince but the notion was as ridiculous as any fairy story and swiftly dismissed.

She longed to ask him to explain the book's heritage but she had received neither an owl nor any other indication of him since he had sent the note containing his love and worry was beginning to set in. Dumbledore was as elusive as ever and she never got a moment alone to ask him if he had heard from him. The first of October was swiftly approaching and rather than happy anticipation Hermione felt only dread, a fear welling in her that he would not appear and she would be left unknowing of his fate.

The day dawned cold and as she woke, Hermione looked over at her dresser, hoping to see the rose he had promised to indicate she could come to him. She had sat by her dresser for much of the night, barely resisting the urge to floo to his rooms and see if he was there, but sleep had finally overtaken her and she had retired to her bed. The dresser still sat barren in the thin morning light and Hermione pulled herself from her bed with a reluctance she had not felt in weeks. She dressed prettily however, not wanting him to see her looking careworn and ill-rested both in concern for his worry and her own vanity.

Breakfast was its usual affair and the line up of teachers remained unchanged, all the seats filled and not a spare to be seen. Dumbledore never met her gaze despite her constant attempts to catch it and no announcement was made to welcome Severus back. She trudged to her classes almost mechanically, her mind elsewhere even in her most treasured subjects, her eyes on either the clock or the door in the hope that either time or providence would bring him to her. Lunch was the same affair as breakfast; all the teachers present but Severus was not in their midst and Hermione's heart sank further.

"Bugger, we've got old Page next," mumbled Ron next to her, "I wish Fred or George were here, I could go for one of their puking pastels right about now."

"I never thought I'd hate a Dark Arts lesson," said Harry, equally morose, "I miss Remus, he was a great Dark Arts teacher."

"I'd have even preferred Snape," said Ron, "He's a bastard but at least he'd let us do some practical work if only to tell us that we're rubbish."

Hermione felt herself brighten at his words, wondering perhaps if Severus had gone for the slightly less dramatic of the two entrances he could make. Rather than sweep into the main hall at dinner he would turn up in their class, allow the word to spread slowly of his return amongst the disbelieving students. She knew she would have to keep her composure, remain in her seat when she saw him on the dais with Page rather than run to him, but the joy at seeing him again would be hard to tamper down. They would both need to act as though the past had never occurred, him once more the acerbic professor whilst she needed to demonstrate her fear of him, cementing her tales of his cruelty when all she wanted to do was tell the world the truth.

With much more of a spring in her step, Hermione headed for her final lesson, Dark Arts for once seeming an appealing way to end the day. He would be cruel to them, he would hector Harry as he previously had and he would even risk being a little extra cruel to her if only to compound their stories. She'd take whatever he could throw at her because she knew that night she could go to him, be with Severus rather than the Professor Snape he was forced to show the world. She had taken her seat before she even realised the room was slightly brighter than usual. She cast her eyes to the dais and realised that Page, ever on time, was missing and Professor Sprout stood in her place.

"Now settle down sixth years," she said over the murmur of surprise that was wending its way through the students, "Take your seats."

They all did so in record time, all of them glad to have a friendly face before them even if it meant they'd be working on pre-set reading all lesson.

"Very good, very good," said Sprout, "Now as you can see Professor Page isn't here today unless the dear girl has gained a _few _pounds since you last saw her. However, there is no drama, merely a last minute meeting with Professor Dumbledore so you needn't worry for her safety. You might need to worry for your own though whilst you have me in charge, its been a while since I've been in a Defence classroom but I'll have you all know I'm a fair hand with a wand when I want to be."

The murmur rose up again in the room as Professor Sprout took out her wand and waved it with what could be taken as either menace or promise.

"Now all of you on your feet and push your tables to the side of the room," she said, her words meeting with blank looks at the thought of a practical lesson after so long, "Come on, come on, no dawdling. Time waits for no witch or wizard however young they are."

Hermione joined her classmates in pushing the tables to the side of the room, all of them returning to the centre as Professor Sprout levitated a small covered pot into the centre of the room. The cover flew off in a flourish and they were left facing a rather sickly looking plant that writhed slightly in the light of the room. Hermione however recognised what it was and felt little surprise when Professor Sprout charmed the windows so the room fell dark, lit only by the candles. The plant began to grow instantly in size, tendrils and tentacles growing until it began to creep upon them all.

"Now then sixth years," she said, "I taught you how to handle Devil's Snare in your first year but how well do you all handle it when there's no light to be had and you don't have your wands."

All their wands were ripped from their hands and sped to the desk at the front as more and more of the tentacles reached towards them but none of them had any fear, knowing they were about to have more fun in a Defence Lesson than they had had in a long time.

xxxx

Hermione was sure many of the other students who had not been in their Defence class were wondering what on earth had happened to the group as they wandered into the Great Hall for dinner. They were all in disarray and at least one piece of uniform apiece was bearing a hole or two but they were all joyous and triumphant, having defeated the plant even after it had had a good go at defeating them. Sprout had awarded points to almost everyone present and both the Slytherin and Gryffindor counters stood gleaming with pride behind the teachers' table. Hermione had almost forgotten her worry for Severus in the hilarity of the lesson but as she clocked several empty chairs, including the Headmaster's it began to set in four-fold.

The room was just settling down to eat when the large door flew open, the Headmaster stood there as heads began to turn and the collective gasp sounding as he was flanked not only by Professor Page but the familiar dark figure of Severus Snape. Hermione felt her heart stop, her eyes drinking in the sight she had been denied for too long. A hand gripped her arm tightly and she turned to see Harry's face set in a fury she had witnessed before, the boy clearly longing for vengeance against her alleged suffering. She wanted to correct him, to tell him that all would be well now that Severus was home but she knew the façade had to be kept in place and she covered his hand with hers, hoping he believed she was seeking his comfort rather than holding him in place.

Dumbledore led the pair down the hall and Hermione was reminded of when she had first seen the teenage Severus in his uniform being led along the same path. He looked far more confident now though, his sweeping black teacher's robe flaring out with each step he took. Murmurs ran through the hall but none dared get to their feet, Dumbledore's grim set face seeing that they all remained in their places. Even the teachers looked shock at their approach, Minerva ashen and Trelawney babbling in confusion to her colleagues on either side. Hermione turned in her chair as they passed, Severus a hair's breadth from her but he never looked her way or reached out for her. Harry and Ron on the other hand were now both pressed closely to her, a ring of defence over the perceived threat he posed.

The finally reached the teacher's table and Hermione felt a pang of jealously as Severus gallantly pulled out a chair for Page before he sat down beside her, the two of them seeming the best of friends as they shared several quiet words. Dumbledore approached the golden lectern, hush descending on the room at the sombre look he gave them all.

"None of you could have failed to recognise Professor Snape who has this night agreed to return to his teaching position at Hogwarts," he said, "He will however not be returning to his former role of Potions Master but undertaking the teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Page. He will not be renewing his mantle of Head of Slytherin house, that role will now pass to Professor Slughorn. I'm sure you will find both your Dark Arts professors more than qualified to prepare you for your NEWTs and your OWLs. Professor Snape will be in classes from Monday and will be restarting the duelling club with Professor Page, all interested should sign up at the board they will find in their common rooms."

Low murmurs of discontent passed through the hall but Dumbledore seemed to ignore them, his attitude as jovial as ever as he instructed them all to eat. The Headmaster went to his seat, falling into conversation with McGonagall on his right hand side though the deputy headmistress seemed to be only absently answering him as she tried to peer round at the two additions to the teachers' table. Hermione let her eyes drift to Severus but he did not look up to meet her gaze, instead he remained in low conversation with Page, the pair of them looking as though no enmity had ever existed between them.

"I can't believe Dumbledore let him back in," said Harry pulling Hermione from her study of Severus.

"Do you reckon he's confunded him or something?" said Ron, "Dumbledore knows what he did to Hermione."

"Well whatever reason we won't let him near you," said Harry, placing an arm around Hermione's shoulders, "He takes one step you don't like and teacher or not I'll kill him."

"No you won't," said Hermione a little too quickly, "Just leave it Harry alright. He won't come near me, I'm sure of it. Whatever reason he has for being back he knows there'll be too many people watching him to try anything. It's going to bad enough with what everyone is going to say without you making it worse."

"We only want to keep you safe," said Harry.

"You'll be with me in class," said Hermione, "I only have three periods a week in Dark Arts, three hours when I have to see him. I can cope with that."

"You're so brave," said Ginny, reaching across the table to take her hand, "After what he did to you."

"Let's not mention that," said Hermione, tears flying to her eyes at how badly her stories had tarnished his reputation, "Just forget he's here."

Her three friends tried as best they could to turn the conversation onto any other subject but both Harry and Ron were too riled to stay off the subject of Severus for too long, the pair of them shooting filthy looks towards the teachers table. Several of the other Gryffindor boys had moved over to them, a ring of steel around Hermione that she didn't want or need but was moved by all the same though. Their words however began to cut deep, insults directed at Severus and wilder and wilder stories based on half-truths they'd heard or thought they'd heard. The list of Severus' alleged victims had neared fifty when Hermione broke, leaping from her chair with a plaintive cry that caught the attention of nearly everyone in the room. Everyone fell silent and Hermione knew that even the teachers had heard her but she dared not turn to look at her, knowing that if she caught Severus' gaze she would either give them away or compound her own pain when he ignored her. Instead she fled the room, hoping that he would be able to follow when dinner had ended.

She reached her room swiftly and her eyes went to her dresser on instinct but there was no rose there. She wrung her hands in front of her, toying with the thought of heading to his rooms but she knew he would not have been able to leave regardless of how worried he might be about her. He would be forced to feign indifference despite the worry her outburst would have raised in him and guilt rushed her at the thought of the position she had put him in. She sat on the edge of her bed and tried to calm her ragged nerves, reminding herself that dinner was not far from ending and that he would be able to excuse himself as soon as he could without the headship of Slytherin house hanging over him. She was glad he had not taken back his former position as house head, his loyalties to Gryffindor apparent in the decision even though Dumbledore had not announced it. The removal of the obligations of house head would also give him far more free time in the evenings and on the weekend, time Hermione hoped he would share with her.

She finally calmed herself enough to reach for a book, allowing herself to be drawn into it as time passed by. It was only when she heard voices in the common room that she came back to herself and began her waiting once more. The fireplace remained stubbornly lit, the flames neither dying nor being replaced by the green tinge that preceded the arrival of someone by floo. She tried to turn back to her book, rationalising that he may have been caught by one of the teachers or Dumbledore and unable to remove himself from their presence. As time passed further her thoughts darkened, one of the boys who felt the need to protect her having gone to seek him out and now either Severus or the both of them lay hurt by the ensuing battle. Her heart beat a little harder against her chest and she couldn't dispel the last image. She went to her door and opened it a crack. Careful not to attract anyone's attention she peered around into the common room, relieved to see anyone she would suspect of going after Severus sat by the fireside.

She returned to her room, bolting the door and lingering a little facing it, hoping to feel strong arms encircle her waist, the soft laugh in her ear that she hadn't heard him appear from the floo. Neither sensation came though and Hermione turned back to the empty room, her eyes drawn to the fireplace every time she tried to look away from it. She didn't know how long she waited but the common room beyond began to quiet and the candles were burning low when she got off her bed once more. She headed to the fireplace and extinguished the flames with a wave of her wand. She took a handful of floo powder and, before she could question herself, she gave the direction for his rooms. She barely held back a scream as she raced along the fireplaces before she hit the ground hard, all but tumbling onto the threadbare rug in front of Severus' fireplace.

The lights were up but the room was empty, her heart sinking as he was not there to greet her. She took a moment to look around and noticed the light filtering from beneath the door that led to his bedroom. She smiled and righted her skirt before she began to head towards the door. Her hand was almost on the handle when she heard a voice but it was not the deep timbre she was used to, instead a soft and familiar female voice met her ears. She hastily backed away but could not reach the fireplace in time, instead concealing herself behind the large sofa and praying that she wasn't seen.

The door clicked open and she heard two sets of footfalls, one heavier than the other. She didn't dare look up but she already knew that the lighter footed person was Irina Page, her voice unmistakeable from months of her lectures in class, but the presence of her in Severus' rooms was alien.

"We will have to be vigilant Severus," she said, her voice far more of a purr than the harsh tones Hermione was used to, "There is much that the Dark Lord wants us to achieve this year."

"And we will achieve it," said Severus, "But you must have patience. I spent much time studying their behaviours this past year. Potter is far too conscious of our presence at this time and far too prepared for us to attempt anything. Observation is our greatest ally right now."

"I will follow your lead in this of course," said Irina.

"Then perhaps it best that you leave now," said Severus, his voice coaxing rather than demanding, "Dumbledore would be better placed to believe we are acquaintances alone. I hope to regain some of his trust, I can better understand his plans that way."

"Goodnight then," said Irina, crossing the room to the main door.

"Goodnight Irina," said Severus, bowing her out before he closed and warded the door behind her.

He leaned back against the woodwork, running his hand over his face with a sigh before he pushed away from the door and crossed to the fireplace. He put his hand into the pot that contained the floo powder but the fine grains simply slipped between his fingers as he pressed his forehead to the mantle.

"No," he said quietly to himself, "Leave her be."

Hermione watched unseen as he extinguished the lights with a wave of his hand before he headed into the adjoining bedroom, the door closing soundly behind him. She remained unmoving for a long time, trying to fathom out why he had not gone to her rooms when she was sure he knew she would be waiting for him but more prominently, why he had been alone in his rooms with Irina Page.

xxxx

Saturday passed in a blur, Hermione sleeping away the morning having tossed and turned all night after returning to her own rooms. She had warred with herself when Severus had returned to his bedroom, half of her wanting to go to him but the other half reminding her that he had not gone to her when he had the chance. She ventured as far as the great hall for lunch, her eyes immediately heading to the teacher's table but he was absent from the group. Page however was sat between Flitwick and Hagrid and Hermione was glad that wherever Severus was he was alone.

Her friends tried to coax her into a conversation but they soon gave up, all of them assuming her quietness was down to Severus' return and the memories that brought up in her. She longed to tell them the truth, if only to ask for their advice as her emotions continued to conflict one another. She had thought when Severus had told her that he was returning to the school that her nights would be spent at his side but instead he was absent, not even a note sent to her to explain. She wished she had never ventured to his rooms, the thoughts of the reason why Page had been there plaguing her.

She wanted to see him, to ask him to explain but another part of her didn't want to know and so the afternoon and the evening found her sat alone in her room, her eyes never far from the fireplace as she waited for him to emerge. It was gone midnight when she could not sit and do nothing anymore and she headed with determination to the fireplace. She took up the floo powder and gave the direction for his rooms, proud that she avoided screaming and she headed to her destination. She hit the grate hard but kept her feet.

The room was dark but she swiftly cast a charm on the candles and illuminated the room. She took a moment to allow her eyes to adjust but as she did her heart sank as she realised the carpet before her was covered in blood.

"Severus!" she cried in alarm, not caring for discovery, "Severus?"

She followed the bloody trail as it led to his bedroom, terrified of what she would find. She opened the door to the dim room beyond but the light from the living room was enough to illuminate the bed and the figure slumped on it.

"Severus," she said, feeling tears spring to her eyes.

"Hermione?" he said almost in surprise, trying to push himself up to look at her.

"No, lie still," said Hermione as she saw the blood on his face, the collar of his white shirt stained red, "What happened to you?"

"Voldemort was bored," he said thinly, "And I got in the way."

"Oh my God, look at you," she said, noticing the dark stains on the front of his frock coat that indicated to more blood beneath, "We need to get you to Madam Pomfrey."

"No," said Severus with a shake of his head, "I'll be fine, I'll…"

He trailed off as he gasped in a breath of pain, his body contorting beneath him. Hermione didn't hesitate as she climbed onto the bed, supporting him as she laid him back on the covers. She hushed him gently before she moved her hands to the buttons of his coat, swiftly unfastening them.

"What are you doing?" he said as Hermione pushed aside the heavy black material to reveal the bloody shirt beneath.

"Taking care of you," she said unfastening the shirt and trying not to further injure him as she parted it, "Oh Severus."

"Hush," he said, "Its not as bad as it looks and I've had worse."

"I don't care if you've had worse," said Hermione brushing away her tears, "I hate that you're so resigned to it."

"Believe me," said Severus, "I was one of the lucky ones."

Hermione steeled herself, pushing down her innate curiosity that wanted to ask what had befallen the others involved, "Let me get you cleaned up," she said, getting to her feet and heading towards the back of the room, "Is the bathroom through there?"

Severus shook his head before pointing to a door that was half hidden by the shadow of the room, "Through there," he said.

Hermione headed to the door and opened it, finding a modest bathroom but she did not linger long to explore. She filled a small basin with water before she opened the small cupboard, knowing Severus well enough to know he would have supplies on hand especially after returning to Voldemort's service. She returned to the bed and set the basin on the nightstand. She gently cleaned the cuts that zig zagged across his torso, clearly made by a wand rather than a knife in their precision. She closed several with magic but some still had to be bound and it took her an hour before she was satisfied that she had fully treated him. They talked quietly as she did so, Severus enquiring into her schoolwork and the general news of their friends and Hermione answered him, knowing he was trying to distance himself from the memory of how he had sustained the injuries.

She had just finished tying off the last bandage when she heard his pained groan, seeing the tension on the muscles of the arm she was treating.

"He had the Cruciatus on you, didn't he?" said Hermione, her hands gently soothing the tension in his arm.

"Not for long," said Severus, "The pain will pass."

"Can I make you up that potion?" said Hermione, "I don't want you to have to suffer when you don't have to."

"It'll take at least an hour to brew," said Severus, "I've not had time to brew anymore myself."

"I've got a cauldron in my room," said Hermione, "If you give me the formula and the ingredients, I'll make it for you."

Severus got tentatively to his feet, taking her hand and leading her back into the living room. Hermione kept hold of his arm, worried that his balance would be affected by his injuries. He smiled down at her and patted her hand where it rested on his arm.

"I'm glad you came down," he said, "I'm sorry I haven't come to you."

"I missed you," said Hermione, pausing by the bookcase, "I…Severus please don't be angry with me."

"Why would I be angry?" he said, turning her to face him, his large hands dwarfing her shoulders as he took gentle hold of her.

"I came down here Friday night," said Hermione, her eyes on the carpet, "You were here with Page."

"But I never saw you."

"I arrived just before you came out of the bedroom," said Hermione, surprised when she heard him chuckle.

"Did you indeed Miss Granger?" he said releasing her shoulders.

Hermione raised her eyes to see him pluck a book from the shelf before he handed it to her. He pulled the potions text that masked the door to the cabinet before reaching inside, pulling out several jars and bottles, handing several to her. He turned back to the bedroom and led her in, heading to the door she had mistaken for the bathroom and opening it. Hermione followed him inside, wondering at his silence but she was soon distracted by the sight that greeted her.

She found herself not in another living room but in a fully functioning laboratory, several empty cauldrons lined up on a long bench while one bubbled away underneath a stasis charm. Severus set the jars he carried on a clear countertop before taking those Hermione carried from her and setting them and the book down. Hermione felt his fingers on her chin as he gently tilted her face to his.

"I know what's in your mind Hermione Granger," he said, "And I want you to know that this was the only room Page spent any time in. She and I are forced into a pretence of allegiance but it is all the act you know I have to present now. Don't doubt my fidelity darling, I'm yours."

Hermione blushed, feeling her youth far more keenly than she ever had with him, "I know, I'm sorry," she said.

Severus kissed her softly, "Do not apologise but from now on whatever concerns you, tell me, do not wait until you cannot hold it back any longer," he said, "My whole life must be dishonest now, save my time with you."

Hermione leant into him, her arms lightly around him as she avoided causing any stress on his injuries, "I will," she said before she felt the tension take his muscles once more, "You should go and lie down. Point out the potion to me and I'll bring it to you when it's ready."

Severus presented her with the page she needed before he pressed a kiss to her brow, returning without argument to the bedroom beyond to rest. Hermione studied the potion's method, realising how difficult the brewing would be and her heart swelled with pride that he trusted her skills enough to let her brew it for him. She was soon immersed in her task at the exclusion of all else and she failed to notice Severus occasionally move to the door to watch her, pride in his eyes at the ease with which she handled the task. Hermione made sure to make enough of the potion to store and poured it carefully into several bottles before transferring a single dose into a glass.

She cleaned up after herself before returning to the bedroom, smiling as she saw Severus asleep on the bed, the covers pulled up only as far as his waist. Hermione felt her heart swell at the sight of him, safe and protected for once despite the injuries he had sustained. She was loathed to wake him but knew that he would suffer if she didn't, reaching out to gently shake him.

"Come on sweetheart," she said softly, "Take this and then you can go back to sleep."

Severus blinked awake, "I've barely seen you," he said, relenting as Hermione helped him to take the potion.

"You'll see me when you wake up," said Hermione, "I'll be right beside you."

"You won't sleep well next to me tonight," said Severus, "I've never had a good night even with the potion."

Hermione smiled over her shoulder at him as she crossed to his wardrobe and opened the door, "Then it's a good job tomorrow is Sunday," she said, reaching into the wardrobe and pulling out one of the crisp white shirts.

Despite the months they had spent together his return to adulthood had made their relationship seem almost new and she modestly slipped into the bathroom to change from her clothes and into his shirt. She returned to the bedroom, finding the lights far lower than they had been when she left it, the softness of it relaxing her as she realised just how tired she was after her weeks of worry. She crossed the room and slipped into the large bed, rolling on her side to face the man beside her.

"How long has it been since I've had you with me like this?" said Severus, extinguishing the lights with a wave of his hand.

Hermione smiled, reaching for his hand beneath the covers, "Too long," she said, "I've missed you."

"I'm back now," he said, "And with luck Voldemort's demands will dwindle somewhat."

"And then I get to spend every night with you," said Hermione, glad when the statement was graced by one of the rare smiles she knew few had seen from him in his adulthood.

"Whenever we can," said Severus though the reality of the statement did little to dampen the mood, "Get some sleep, we can talk more tomorrow."

Hermione leaned over and kissed him softly, "Welcome home Severus," she said resting back on the pillow but he did not answer, sleep already having claimed him and she was happy to follow.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Apologies for the ridiculously long delay in posting this. I had really ground to a halt with this story but I have managed to get this chapter together for you. Thank you for your continuing support with this story, I appreciate every review and PM I still receive even so long since I last posted.

_**I can't guarantee posts will be regular but I will get subsequent chapters up as often as I can.**_

_**Thank you again for your continuing faith. xx**_

The night was far from restful, Severus waking often with the residual pain from the Cruciatus curse however each time he woke Hermione was beside him and would ease him through the agony with a patience and gentleness that made each episode easier than the last. The pain finally settled and Severus was pulled into a far deeper slumber than he had enjoyed for over a month, knowing that for a time he could enjoy some measure of safety. It was the smell of coffee that roused him finally, a hand on his brow as he fought the pull of sleep that still kept a hold on him.

"Take your time," came Hermione's familiar voice, "There's no rush, its still early."

"What time?" he said, frowning at how scratchy his voice sounded.

"Barely nine," said Hermione, "Breakfast hasn't even started yet."

"You stayed all night?" he said, finally forcing his eyes open to see her sat on the bed still dressed in his shirt instead of her own clothes.

"I wasn't about to leave you when you were in such a mess," said Hermione, "Besides, it wasn't much of a contest; wake up alone in my room or wake up with you here. How are you feeling?"

"Like I did ten rounds with a cave troll," said Severus as she helped him to sit up against the pillows, the bruises across his body having darkened over night and leaving evidence of Voldemort's actions for anyone to see, "I need to move a little quicker next time."

"If I ever get my hands on that…"

"You get anywhere near Voldemort and you'll be running in the other direction, do you understand me?" said Severus cutting her off before she could voice her threats against the Dark Lord, "We've lied to Harry to stop him attempting any sort of vengeance, I don't expect you to be winding yourself up into a vendetta in his place."

Hermione smiled, "I doubt I'd ever follow them through but I am allowed to want to batter anyone whose hurt you, you know," she said, righting one of the bandages the covered one of the deeper cuts on his arm, "I hate seeing you hurt sweetheart."

"Seems I have a little nurse to aid me when I am though," he said taking her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it, "I'm sorry if I disturbed your rest too much last night."

"I'm sure I'm quite used to you disturbing my nights," said Hermione releasing her hand from his and laying it over his heart, "Though maybe for another reason."

Severus' eyes fell closed as she moved her hand and pressed a kiss in its place, trailing her lips upwards to his throat.

"When you're recovered you can disturb all my nights if you want," she said.

"I'm an old man Miss Granger," said Severus, moving her face up to his, "I might not be able to keep up."

Hermione laughed, "You're not old Severus," she said, kissing him before she sighed, "And it'll probably be me dropping dead from exhaustion, I've got so much work with everything being accelerated but I'm enjoying it, without you work was all I had."

"You have your friends Hermione," said Severus, concern etching itself on his face, "Harry, Ron, Ginny, all our friends."

"Friends who I'm lying to," said Hermione, as her face fell, "Friends who cannot say a kind word about you. The only person I can be honest with is Dumbledore and I still hate him for what he did to you. He took you from me, took you from us and its not fair. Its not fair!"

"Hush," said Severus as she broke, gathering her to him as she wept, "Hermione don't cry."

"It's been so hard," said Hermione, her face pressed into her shoulder, "Sometimes I'm in class and I look up and it's almost a shock to see Ron or Harry next to me rather than you. I just want things to go back to the way they were. We were so happy."

Severus rocked her gently, whispering nonsense into the wild curls of her hair. He felt his heart breaking for the girl before him, the burden of the lies he had forced her to tell all too apparent in the tears she was letting only him see. He wanted to tell her that they would be alright, that the world would deal them a better hand if they waited but he would make no hollow promises, worried that her fragile state would be all the more damaged. He knew that every person within Hogwarts carried their own fears and troubles, Voldemort's return unavoidable and resonating throughout the wizarding world, but he knew that through him Hermione was carrying more than just her own fears. Not only did she worry for herself but for her Muggle parents, Harry whose destiny was still veiled to them all and now for him, hiding the truth while facing the pity of her friends for the story they knew.

He hated himself for leaving her to bear so much alone and a vicious little voice at the back of his mind told him that she would not be suffering half as much if she was not with him. He tightened his arms around her, pushing the voice away, refusing to acknowledge the thought of leaving her.

"Come on now darling," he said softly, "Where's that Gryffindor bravery?"

Hermione managed a weak laugh, "Fled I guess," she said, pulling back from him enough to roughly wipe her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Severus shook his head, "Don't you apologise for that," he said, rubbing at a tear stain with his thumb, "If you're going to cry, then you cry on my shoulder. That's what I'm for."

Hermione smiled, pressing her face into his hand, "I love you," she said.

"I love you too," said Severus, kissing her softly, "Now then, here's the plan. You need to be seen at breakfast and I need to speak to Albus. Go back to the common room and spend the morning with our friends, then after lunch come back down here. Do you have any homework?"

"A lot actually," said Hermione.

"Then bring it down," said Severus, "I have some lesson plans to work on and seeing as I'm not much use for anything else, we can at least spend the time together."

"At least you can help me with my _real _potions homework."

Severus laughed, "Indeed," he said before he released her from his arms, "You should go up before Harry starts hammering on your door."

Hermione slipped from the bed and dressed once more in her own clothes, folding Severus' shirt and laying it on the comforter before she moved around to his side of the bed. She righted his bandages once more before she kissed him.

"Make sure you have one of the elves bring you some breakfast," she said, "And get Dumbledore to come to you here. You'll heal quicker, the more you rest."

"Yes doctor," said Severus, sharing an indulgent smile with the girl before him, "I promise not to stir from these rooms without your permission."

"You'd better not," said Hermione, pulling the comforter up a little higher before she headed to the door, turning to blow him a kiss before she disappeared from view.

Severus waited until he heard the floo activate before he sighed, running his hands over his face. He reached for the shirt Hermione had worn and buried his face in it, breathing in the lingering scent that clung to it. His mind drew up images of the Room of Requirement; Hermione's fragrant hair spilling across the pillow as she slumbered beside him or the scent of her neck as he pressed his face into it as they both lay panting and sated, her body surrounding him and forcing itself upon every sense he had. The final thought left a bittersweet aftertaste and he reluctantly put the shirt away from him.

He knew their relationship left her vulnerable, Hermione often overly zealous in her protection of her friends and their relationship only fuelled her further. Since he had returned to his adult self he had questioned their relationship, wondering whether what had started as something so innocent was tainted by the reality of their situation. He could not push aside his love for her, not even the twenty years that separated them dulling the feelings that had taken him almost a year before but he wanted to keep her safe. With a sigh he swung his legs out of the bed and got to his feet, swaying slightly as his injuries once more exerted themselves upon him. He wished once more he could speak to his nineteen-year-old self, tell the foolish boy that he was to refuse the mark when it was offered to him but he knew that no amount of potion induced regression or the application of a time turner could stop the fate that had befallen him.

Resigned to whatever the path was yet to bring him, Severus dressed in his customary black and headed towards the door of his room. He knew he had promised Hermione not to stir but the oppression of the dungeons was to great upon him and he knew the school would be amassed in the hall for breakfast, leaving the grounds clear. Leaving his rooms, he strode down the dank corridors of the dungeons, careful not to limp and give away that there was anything wrong with him. He quickly reached the ground floor and headed to the main doors, stepping out into the chill morning air and breathing in the clean scent of the breeze that he had missed during his enforced exile. Pulling his coat tighter around him he headed off towards the lake, knowing he could lose himself in the scenery rather than the thoughts that were plaguing him.

xxxx

Hermione had joined Severus in his rooms as soon as lunchtime had passed, making excuses to her friends that she had a lot to work on and needed some time to herself. It hadn't all been a lie, she did have more homework than them to work on but she ensured her door was locked in case they came looking for her and wondered who's company she was keeping in place of theirs. Severus had been waiting for her when she arrived, his work already spread out on a desk to the side of his living room. Work ethic winning out over her at seeing him so studiously employed, Hermione had swiftly kissed him before settling herself on the rug beside the fire and burying herself in her work. The silence that surrounded them was comfortable and Hermione barely looked up as she heard him move from his desk after several hours, and spoke only to thank him as he set a cup of tea in front of her.

So engrossed was she in her Potions essay that on instinct, as she stumbled on a particular theory, she stuck her hand in the air as she worried the end of her quill between her teeth. After several moments unheeded she raised her gaze, her eyes meeting Severus' as he sat in the chair before her, his amused smile barely hidden at her actions.

"Can I help you Miss Granger?" he said, marking his place in the book he was reading and setting it on the small table beside him.

Hermione looked up at her raised hand and smiled as she lowered it, "Sorry, force of habit," she said, "I'm a little stuck."

"My Hermione doesn't get stuck," said Severus.

"I do when its extra credit for my Potions NEWT," she said, "You see I knew this handsome boy once who could make the most difficult potion unravel before him but he's not around so much these days."

Severus caught the slight melancholy tone in her voice and extended his hand to her, "Maybe I can help then."

Hermione picked up her book and got to her feet, moving to perch on the arm of the chair. She held her book out to him, open on the page and leaned back as she waited for him to read it over. She was shocked as he didn't immediately turn to the book but instead reached into his breast pocket and drew out a slim pair of glasses. As if he sensed her eyes on him he turned to her with a rueful smile.

"The trials of age my dear," he said, putting them on, "Though I admit you won't have seen them, I am a little too vain to wear them in front of my students. At this time of the evening however I'm forced to put vanity to one side."

"I think," said Hermione tracing the thin wire frame with a finger, "That they look very distinguished."

"I think you need them more than I do then," said Severus though Hermione saw the slight smile that stayed on his features.

Before he could turn his attention to the book Hermione slipped off the arm of the chair and onto his lap, curling one arm around is neck as she threw her legs over the opposite arm. Severus froze for a moment, the unexpected move reminding him that he was not just helping a student but it was so reminiscent of their times together when they were both students that he settled her more comfortably before he turned to the book.

"Show me how far you've got along with this then," he said, "And then we can unravel the rest together."

The evening soon passed them by, Hermione completing her homework before she led Severus from his chair onto the sofa, immediately curling into his side as she had so often in the Gryffindor common room. He had discarded his thick black frock coat and had summoned a blanket from his bedroom beyond to cover them with and Hermione was quite content to settle with her head against his chest as they watched the flames dance in the fireplace. Their conversation was light, Severus enquiring after their friends once more and glad when Hermione had mentioned that Réglisse had found a new protector in Neville. Hermione briefly excused herself to use the bathroom and returned to find the table laid with supper, finger food she noticed to disguise how many were dining but she was glad at the silent invitation he had given her to stay.

As the evening wore on they returned once more to their shared embrace however Hermione was no longer content with the warmth and the silence, her hands questing to the buttons of Severus' shirt but he thwarted her attempt to undo them. At her question he pleaded the extent of the injuries he still bore and Hermione backed down in concern, worry replacing all else in her eyes. He finally convinced her that he did not require a trip to see Madam Pomfrey but she was tentative with him afterwards, fussing over each move he made and desperately trying to persuade him to bed to rest. He finally relented to her last request but was shocked when, instead of leaving him as he kissed her by the fireside, she took his hand and led him into the bedroom. He began to protest as she had started to undress but the crestfallen look on her face forced him to back pedal and he soon found himself beside her in the bed.

She had quickly fallen asleep in his arms and he allowed himself to lose himself in the scent of her hair but the voice in his mind would not leave him, reminding him the danger that he posed if he let her remain at his side. When sleep finally came it was tortured, his dreams filled with images of Hermione's demise but for all the pain it caused him he could still not bring himself to push her away.

Monday morning dawned early for the pair of them and Hermione retreated quickly to her room, leaving Severus with a kiss and a promise to return to him that evening before he could protest. He had dressed in his teaching robes, the material at once too heavy and stifling for him even in the chill of the dungeons but it was more the thought of the day that plagued him. He had not faced the school since his return on Friday night and he knew so many faces would be turned to him in hatred. He knew he would sit at the high table and look down at those of Gryffindor house, remembering when he was one of them and missing all the friends who now hated him. He knew he would see Harry's face, see the loathing in the deep green eyes that were so like his mother's, and be reminded once more of James and the pain that acquaintance had so often borne him. He was only grateful that Monday saw him with only first, third and fifth years for Dark Arts class but even that did not fill him with any joy, knowing that he would be called upon to hector and terrify his students rather than instruct them. Even when he had taught Potions he had at least ensured his students had learned something.

If Severus thought that Monday was bad the rest of the week proved what a joy it had truly been. His first lesson with the sixth year Gryffindors and Slytherins had been a trial to say the least, especially when Page had stepped back, clearly testing his loyalties over his former friends. Harry had of course risen to the challenge of facing him and Severus felt every barb he directed at the boy as though he had set it on himself. He had not spared a single one of his friends and had cursed when Hermione has instinctively answered a question when the class had remained silent. His tirade against her and the subsequent point loss had all but brought tears to her eyes and he longed to reach out to her but they had a façade to maintain and she would have to grow used to it.

As Thursday came to a close he was glad to be facing the weekend, able to lock himself away in his rooms in silence and safety but the growing tingle in his left arm soon grew to an agonising pain and he was forced to hurry from the great hall as Voldemort's summons began to act upon him. It was late when he finally stumbled back down the long dank corridor to the fireplace in his rooms, thankfully not bearing any physical marks from his encounter with the Dark Lord but his mind was greatly troubled. He had seen the faces of some of the people who had met with Voldemort before he had and knew one in particular was feeling the orders he had imparted keenly. He had remained with the Death Eaters for several hours rather than returning to the school, ingratiating himself with them in the hope of re-establishing the trust he had lost. He gained some ground he was sure and made sure before he left that he well publicised his future plans.

He tapped the bricks in the wall that rose up to meet him in the corridor and they parted slowly to reveal the room beyond, the fire was unlit but the candles were, illuminating the figure curled on the sofa wrapped in his teaching robe. The flickering light was low, casting deep red shadows over the sleeping girl, highlighting her hair in honeyed tones and bringing out the youthful blush on her lips and cheeks. He stepped from the fireplace but moved no further, leaning back against the mantle as he allowed himself an unguarded moment of watching her. When he had first met Hermione Granger he had been faced with a bushy haired know-it-all with a voice that cut if ignored; but he knew the woman before him was far from the child that had first graced Hogwarts' halls. Even dressed in her uniform, still apparent beneath the cover of his robe, she looked more like temptation than the forbiddance she should have been.

He felt a longing rise in him, a familiar feeling whenever he was with her, but a longing that had remained unanswered since he had first returned to the school to tell her of his renewal of his duties as a spy. He clenched a fist at his side, resisting the desire to cross to her and kiss her awake before allowing the kiss to lead to whatever its natural conclusion was. Since his permanent return to the school Hermione had been his nightly companion but he had refrained from anything but an almost platonic kiss as he persuaded her to bed. She had not been as cooperative he would have wanted and, once the initial excuse of his injuries had begin to wear, he had found himself forcing himself to stay awake long enough for her to begin to droop against his shoulder, too exhausted to do anything but fall asleep beside him in the bed.

He knew his refusal of her did nothing to keep her safe but he was too weak to do anything more. He knew he should push her away, especially in light of the news he had received from Voldemort but try as he might he could not and so he fell back on the semblance of propriety alone. He was her teacher, she was his student; he was in love with her, she was his betrothed. The two relationships should never have mixed but he could not stop either from continuing.

Finally he left the fireplace and crossed to the sofa, bending down and easing her into his arms. Hermione stirred as he began to lift her, blinking up him before she smiled, curling her arms up around his neck as she snuggled into him, losing the robe as he lifted her fully into his arms and began to carry her towards the bedroom.

"I saw you leave the great hall," she said, sleepily, "You were holding your left arm funny. You've been with Voldemort haven't you?"

"I have to go when he calls," said Severus as they crossed the threshold to the bedroom.

"Are you hurt?" she said, struggling slightly as though she was trying to avoid hurting him.

He hushed her as he firmed his grip, letting her know that she wasn't harming him, "I was swift tonight and he was in a good mood, the majority escaped unscathed," he said, "You did not have to wait for me."

Hermione smiled at him as he sat her down on the bed and knelt at her feet, gently removing her shoes, "I'm meant to be looking after you," she said as his thumb traced a pattern against her ankle.

"You've worn yourself out and you have to focus on your exams," said Severus, "I don't want to see you falling asleep in my classes."

Hermione laughed, "Heaven forbid that I give you anymore reason to take points off," she said before she took his hand, encouraging him to sit beside her on the bed.

She leant against him, her tiredness refusing to leave her, and buried her face against his shoulder. Severus wrapped an arm around her, content just to hold her much as he knew she would be far better off in a proper position to sleep. He pressed a kiss to her hair and rocked her gently, willing her to the sleep she so clearly needed. Hermione however seemed determined to stay awake though her voice was quiet.

"I can't wait until tomorrow," she said.

"Is there something happening?" said Severus.

Hermione smiled, "Its Friday," she said as though it explained everything, "As soon as that final bell rings you're mine for the entire weekend."

"I'm afraid I must disappoint you there," he said, "As soon as classes end tomorrow I have to leave and will return Sunday morning at the very earliest."

Hermione raised her head from his shoulder, a pretty pout taking her face at the news, "Where do you have to go?"

"Spinners End," said Severus. "I have some business to attend to there."

Hermione instantly brightened, "Then take me with you. I won't be missed; the boy's have Quidditch training all day Saturday and then everyone will be in Hogsmeade on Sunday," she said, "I'd love to see your house and I promise I won't be in the way. Just point me towards the books and you won't here a peep from me until you want to."

Severus shook his head, "I cannot take you with me," he said, "Even if what I was going to do wouldn't put you in danger there remains the fact that should I take you out of school during term time I would be acting in loco parentis and that's not exactly appropriate given our situation."

Hermione stiffened in his arms at his words, "Given our… oh heaven forbid Severus that I should be able to take account for myself if we set foot out of the grounds," she said, "Don't you dare give me that in loco parentis rubbish. You're responsible for me here too you know, if you're determined to see yourself as my teacher, and yet you're quite happy for me to share your bed every night. We are not student and teacher Severus, they're just the roles we're playing in this pantomime we've worked ourselves into."

"Even with Hogwarts aside, as a part of the Order…"

"You've not been part of the Order for over a year," said Hermione, "Stop looking for excuses and just admit that you don't want me there."

"You know that's not true."

"Isn't it?" said Hermione, freeing herself from his arms and getting to her feet, "Then what's stopping you? Can't be seen with me? Worried I'll do something stupid or is it the fact that that's where you and Lily used to spend your time? Wouldn't want to taint those memories by bringing me there now would we?"

Severus' eyes darkened, "Don't you dare bring her into this," he said, "She has nothing to do with this."

"Then tell me why you won't take me with you?"

"Can't you see that I'm trying to protect you?" said Severus, "And if you stopped behaving like a wilful child for two seconds together you would realise that."

"Wilful child?" said Hermione before her expression hardened, "Right."

Severus looked on in confusion as she stomped into her shoes, "What are you doing?"

"Leaving," said Hermione, "Its hardly _appropriate_ for you to have such a wilful child in your bedroom, Professor."

"Hermione, wait," he said, reaching for her sleeve but she dodged him easily and headed towards the living room, "Don't leave like this."

Hermione ignored his plea even as he began to follow her, hurrying her footsteps as he caught up with her and took hold of her arm. Severus pulled her gently to a halt, his free hand coming to her cheek as he tried to pacify her.

"Darling stop, there's no need for this," he said, "Let me explain."

Hermione's expression softened for a second but then her eyes hardened and she pushed his hand away and pulled out of his grip, "No," she said, "I'm fed up with this. All hot and cold. Don't think I haven't noticed that you've made every excuse under the sun not to be with me, so if you've lost interest I'd rather you tell me now. After our story I'm not so tainted by association and Cormac's been looking, he wouldn't be giving me excuses."

Severus paled, "Don't say things like that," he said, "You don't mean it."

"Don't I?" said Hermione, "Then give me a reason not to mean it. Tell me that there's some reason behind this game you seem to be playing with me."

"I'm trying to protect you," said Severus.

"By acting like my parent?" said Hermione stepping back until she was inside the fireplace, taking hold of a handful of floo powder, "That's not the relationship I thought we were in."

She went to throw the powder down into the grate but paused, her eyes meeting his and seeing the hurt there.

"I love you," she said softly, "But you need to work out want you want. I won't come down here again, not until you send for me and then I need to know what you expect from me."

"Hermione…" he said, reaching out to her but she shook her head.

"Think about it," she said, "Take the weekend and come to me when you've decided."

Without a word of goodbye she tossed the floo powder into the grate and gave the direction of her room, disappearing with the pull of the magic. Severus stood staring at the place she had been standing, a myriad of emotions rushing at him as he realised just how silent the room was without her in it. He wanted to follow but he knew it would do no good, she had walked away from him and following with no answer for her would prove useless.

He took a shuddering breath and stepped away from the hearth. He picked up his teaching robe from where it had been discarded on the sofa and threw it on. Heading to the door he extinguished the lights and stepped into the corridors beyond, refusing the shiver at the chill that set immediately into his bones. He hurried through the corridors, glad it was late enough that the students were in bed and very few dared to venture in the corridors with both Filch and several Aurors patrolling the halls at night. He soon reached his destination and gave the password to the stone gargoyle he encountered. The stairs rose and he stepped onto them, allowing them to carry him up to his destination.

He didn't bother to knock, instead stepping into the room with a flourish of robes but the figure sat behind the desk before him did not startle at the intrusion.

"You're back," said Dumbledore, "Is it as we feared?"

Severus nodded, "I must away tonight," he said, "There are things I have to do. Things are as we feared and I've already put our plan in motion. I made it known that I would be home this weekend but if I go a day earlier and make it known I'm there then fears may be more likely to work in our favour."

Dumbledore nodded, "I'm sure Irina will manage in your absence," he said with a small smile, "Would you like me to get word to Miss Granger?"

"If you would," said Severus, his tone wavering as a moment of doubt as to whether she would care struck him "Tell her not to worry. Tell her I will return by Sunday if I can."

Dumbledore regarded him quizzically, "I trust all is well between the pair of you?"

"Things are complex," said Severus before he remembered why his life had once more been thrown into that complexity, "See that she receives the message."

"Severus," said Dumbledore, his tone stopping the younger wizard as he turned to the door, "If something is troubling you…"

Severus turned with a glare, "If something is troubling me? Voldemort's rise to power. The task we know he will have given to someone who, despite many faults, is an innocent. What you want me to do to protect him and Harry. The fact that I was sixteen years old less than two months ago and now I'm faced everyday by the man I'd almost forgotten I had once become," he said, "Pick one."

"I appreciate your difficulties, my boy," said Dumbledore, "But we are all instruments in this and must do what we can so that what is right prevails. I'm sure you can find confidence enough in Miss Granger."

Pain lanced through Severus as his mind turned immediately to the disagreement they had had, "I will not burden her," he said, "She has enough to focus on with her exams."

"You and I both know that NEWT exams will not tax Miss Granger, they would not have taxed her had she sat them in her second year," said the older wizard, "You are not worried about her exams."

Severus wanted to speak, to pour out all that troubled him but his memory reminded him once more that his trust had been misplaced in the man before him one too many times, "See that Hermione receives the message," he said turning back to the door, "I will return on Sunday."

He did not wait for Dumbledore to speak again but strode out of the large office and down the stairs once more. It did not take him long to return to the dungeons and he had soon collected up all he would need to be away from the school for several nights. He stepped into the fireplace and for a moment toyed with the thought of going to Hermione but, putting aside the danger of appearing unannounced in her room where her friends could be with her, he knew he needed to wait until he had an answer for her before he went to her. He tapped the bricks and the back of the fireplace fell away to reveal the passageway behind.

He followed the dreary passage upwards and pushed the door open, stepping out into the grounds. The air was frigid and there were flakes of snow in the air, the clouds threatening more. He hugged his robe tighter around himself with a frown, snow in Scotland meaning freezing rain further south and he almost turned back but he knew he had to be found at home. Without a second thought he span into an apparition, coming to rest in a familiar dark alley way that had become a favoured point for him over the years, the desolate nature of the streets around it leaving it devoid of muggles.

The night was dark and the air filled with rain so fine it seemed to reach his bones even before it had a chance to soak his clothes. He shrugged off his teaching robe and stuffed it into the bag he had slung over his shoulder, his clothes somewhat odd in the muggle-world but not strange enough to attract too much attention. He left the alley and headed into the familiar streets, memories both good and bad, assaulting him as he walked at a pace that was dictated by the rain. It was only several streets over until he reached his own, the road sign greying and chipped, the screws looking as though one strong wind would disrupt them and send the sign tumbling down the street.

A car stood on bricks against the kerb and he was forced to slide passed another that had been parked to high on the pavement, its tax disc several years out of date. He often cursed that he set his wards so high that he couldn't apparate directly into his house but as he reached a crossroads between the dark terraced houses he was reminded why he always took the walk. In the distance down the bisecting road and across the desolate railway tracks he could make out the lights of the elegant estate of homes he had once been a frequent visitor to. He could vividly remember the path that led to the charming red brick house with its neat front lawn and driveway. He remembered how he had always admired the shiny black paint on the door, offset by the brass knocker. Beyond had been a house filled with love and colour, pictures on the walls and always a hot meal on the table. He had felt at home despite how odd he had looked in the surroundings, Lily's parents accepting him with open arms when she had first taken him home, shabby and unkempt as he was.

He paused, remembering when he had followed first Lily's mother's coffin and then her father's from the house, one of many faceless mourners. He had heard so many of their friends comforting each other with thoughts that at least the couple would be reunited with their lost daughter but for Severus it had been the greatest wrench, his adopted family completely decimated even though he had not seen them since Lily's death. He remembered the desolation he had felt then, his own mother dead, Lily murdered and her parents taken far too young in their grief for their child, the empty feeling in his stomach that refused to leave him for many years. It had only left him when he had first felt a shadow fall over him in the grounds of Hogwarts mere days after his regression, looking up to see the concerned eyes of Hermione Granger.

It had taken a long time but he had soon found himself part of a family once more, his odd bunch of siblings in Harry and the Weasleys, an adopted sister in Minerva, a father in Dumbledore and a dozen or so uncles and aunts in the teachers he had once been a colleague too. He smiled as he thought of the one person who stood out far above all them, the beautiful young woman who had given more meaning to his life than he had known even with the youthful love he had lost too soon. Situation had caused all of his new family to dwindle apart from her and he felt, as distanced as he was from her, the connection that still burned brightly.

He turned his eyes away from the path he had once trodden daily, heading once more towards his own home despite the sudden urge that rose in him to return to the school and seek out the girl that now dominated his thoughts. He barely noticed the continually falling rain however as he neared the run of houses that his was connected to he began to feel the familiar anxiety that always accompanied his homecoming, many years without its reason being present incapable of removing the feeling. He walked the line of houses until he reached the one on the end, the grey building seemingly propping up its neighbours from falling into the alleyway next to it. He approached the door and lowered the wards with practiced ease, pushing the door opened with a resounding slam as though trying to dispel any demon that could be within.

No demon greeted him but he still viewed what did with disdain as the ungainly figure of Peter Pettigrew shuffled into the hallway.

"Snape?" he simpered, "I was not expecting your return until tomorrow."

Severus tried as best he could not to sneer at the whimpering creature before him, his presence forced upon him by Voldemort almost as soon as he had been let out of his sight and trusted again. He was not stupid enough though not to realise that Pettigrew was also there to be his jailor, the man without a doubt reporting back to the Dark Lord every movement Severus made away from the school.

"I did not realise I was required to explain my comings and goings to you Wormtail," said Severus, pushing past him and into the house, "I am back and I expect you to stay out of my way whilst I am here."

"Of course," said the other man but there was little genuflection in his voice.

Severus ignored him, pausing to shrug off his coat and hang it on the empty coat rack. He heard Wormtail scamper off back into the house but paid him no mind as the house seemed to make itself the key feature of his attention. Other than Hogwarts, the tiny house at Spinners End had been the only home he had ever known, his birth in the main bedroom upstairs from where he stood the beginning of his history within the peeling walls. For as long as he had known the house had been cold and grey and filled with too many corners. He hated the corners of the house the most.

It was not the most rational of hatreds he knew but he hated them all the same, the corners of his house bearing some of the worst memories he had. He remembered the corner by the front door where he had cowered at three years old, unable to reach the latch to escape as his father's rage went from words to fists, the blows rained down on his mother rather than him but paining him all the same. The corner in the basement where his mother had cradled him, hiding from the drunken rampage that was raging above them. The corner in the living room where his father had forced him to stand, facing the peeling paper for hours on end and where he'd been thrown after he'd near fainted from hunger, his arm badly broken and left untreated for days. The corner in the tiny kitchen where his father had finally fallen, Severus' fist rather than his magic punishing the man who had terrorised him for years. The corner in the master bedroom where he'd found his mother slumped, half dead from the illness that she had kept hidden from him. The corner where he'd stood and cried when she had finally been taken from him, the finally blow that had sent him into the service of the Dark Lord.

Severus shook his head, forcing away the onslaught of the memories the house invoked. He forewent any further tour of the house, finding little need to enter any of the cramped downstairs rooms, instead turning to the stairs and heading up them. He didn't bother to light any candles, knowing the route by heart and preferring not to shed any light upon the neglected hallways. He passed the door to his childhood room, now housing his unwelcome guest and headed into the master room. He had only made it his own when he had reached his twenties and had begun teaching at Hogwarts, feeling a need after all the turmoil he had gone through to at least feel as though he was master in his own home.

The room looked barely lived in, everything of value to him housed in his rooms at Hogwarts but it did well enough for when he was forced to come home. He rubbed his eyes as the late hour overcame him and sat down on the edge of the bed to unlace his shoes, letting them fall with an audible thump onto the wooden floor. Standing once more he shrugged off his clothes, pausing only briefly to ensure the sheets were free of dust with a spell. He slipped beneath the covers before he leant down and caught up his trousers from the floor, reaching into the pocket and taking out a neatly folded piece of card. He opened it carefully, revealing the Muggle photograph within. He was unsure why it was his favourite picture, he had dozens more that showed both him and his partner in the picture in a more flattering light but it had been the first to be taken when he had felt truly happy and it had therefore lodged itself firmly in the loftiest place of his esteem. He and Hermione sat side by side in a small Muggle pub in Oxford, the room behind them decorated for Christmas as the revellers celebrated the eve of the festival.

Severus smiled at the picture, wondering how none had realised how in love with the girl beside him he already was in that moment. He was not even looking at the camera but at the girl beside him, watching her laugh at her father's failing attempts to correctly operate the device. He reached up around his neck to take hold of the pendant that hung there, the images of both a snake and a lion reflected in the glass. He allowed himself a small smile, knowing he would go immediately to Hermione on his return to the school and make amends for their disagreement. With happier thoughts than had brought him home he returned the picture to his pocket before settling into the bed, imagining that she lay beside him still and the thought alone took him into sleep.

xxxx

Magic was a wondrous thing or so Hermione thought as she woke to find her room frosty in the early morning light. With a wave of her wand the fire in the hearth leapt into life and the room immediately warmed. She finally dared to venture from beneath the covers, reaching for her dressing gown as the thin white shirt she wore offered little in the way of warmth. She had known when she had gone to bed that warmer pyjamas would have been a wiser idea but Severus' shirt had been the more romantic choice, the days since his departure from the school seeming far too numerous.

She had realised something was wrong when she had arrived at breakfast on Friday morning and Severus' seat at the high table was empty. She had tried to catch Dumbledore's eye but failed on every attempt and fear had begun to rise in her. She had been moving blindly to class when Filch had stopped her and informed her that Dumbledore wished to speak to her. She had barely contained her relief but had waved off her friends with the belief that she needed to speak with him about her additional classes. She had all but run to his office and crashed through the door with a demand for news. Dumbledore's news had not been completely comforting but at least she was aware that Severus had left of his own free will rather than at the summons of the Dark Mark if not aware of the business he went for. She knew she would have to wait until Severus' return on the Sunday, if Dumbledore was to be believed, to find out the nature of his travels but she was contented that he was safe.

She had been somewhat disturbed when Dumbledore had further detained her but his questions were nothing to do with her schooling. She kept her silence as he enquired too deeply about her relationship with Severus, knowing for him to be questioning her Severus would not have answered him in detail enough. Finally he had dismissed her back to her classes but Hermione maintained her silence throughout the day, citing fatigue as an excuse to her friends when they questioned her and retiring early to bed. She had gone down to the stands in the cold, snowy morning that brought in the weekend, happy to watch her friends as they trained for the forthcoming Quidditch match.

She fell into conversation now and then with several of her fellow spectators but more often than not she sat in silence, her mind not seeing the players before her but replaying a match that was flooded in summer light when it had been a young, black haired boy in the role of keeper. Although Ron did admirably in his training he lacked the grace that Severus had shown in the role. She had reached for the ring that hung on the chain around her neck, tracing the stones as her heart had clenched at the thought of him. She knew she had hurt him when she had left him but she needed to give him time to decide what he wanted from her. She had been aware from very early in his return that he was reluctant to return to the more intimate aspects of their relationship but she had hoped that it would fade. When it had not she had tried to understand what was keeping him from her but the answer alluded her. She had wanted to maintain what they had but it had proved too hard and she had left him with the ultimatum; it was up to him where their relationship went. She could only hope that he came back to her with a favourable response.

Sunday had dawned as she found it, the snow thick on the ground and the cold in the room chilling her through Severus' thin shirt. Despite the cold and the snow, sunlight filtered through the window and Hermione found herself glad that she would be venturing to Hogsmeade with her friends. She knew she had been neglectful of them all and felt a pang at how much she was forced to conceal from them. She briefly clutched at the pendant around her neck before she readied herself for the day, determined that her attention would be on her two best friends, knowing she would receive her answer from Severus later in the day.

Harry and Ron had clearly been surprised by her when she had all but bounced into the Great Hall for breakfast but the surprise turned to contentment at having their friend restored to them, the three of them falling swiftly back into the banter that had always been the mainstay of their friendship.

They had finally braved the cold for the walk into Hogsmeade, all of them well wrapped up in Molly Weasley's warm if bulky knitted scarves. As they walked talk turned to there lessons and then once more to the subject of Harry's beloved Potions book, the identity of the Half Blood Prince still a mystery to the two boys. Hermione realised that she had yet to quiz Severus on the subject and when Harry and Ron turned to her for enlightenment she managed to cover by saying she had gone to the library but found no mention of any princes in the wizarding world, half-blood or otherwise. They seemed content that she had at least tried, the pursuit of the library a common trait in her and meeting with no suspicion.

Their conversation was cut short as they saw their Potions Master and Charms Professor speaking on the bridge that led into the town, Flitwick clearly beating a hasty retreat for the fear of being forced to endure Slughorn's endless ramblings in the Three Broomsticks. Hermione had always been quite fond of the Potions Master's propensity to chatter but she knew that often it would merely be background noise as she worked on the potions set in their private lessons and therefore of little burden to listen to. Her friends however had never seemed overly keen of their aging professor so she was surprised when Harry, on hearing that Slughorn was heading to the pub, requested of both her and Ron to join him for a drink.

The Three Broomsticks was busy with the residents of the village and the elder Hogwarts students that were allowed to frequent the establishment. Harry hurriedly chose them a table and all but arranged them around it, seemingly wanting to keep Slughorn in view. Hermione paid it little mind, quite used to the eccentricities of her friend especially if he felt their was a conspiracy to be had and obliged him, ordering their drinks when one of the tavern hands came to them.

Their butterbeers were barely on the table when Ron groaned at something over Hermione's shoulder. Hermione turned to see Ginny and Dean Thomas sat side by side, far too engrossed with one another to notice what was going on around them. It amused her how perturbed Ron grew at the sight of them holding hands and admonished him on the fact only to bite her lip as she turned back to see the couple in question proceed on to a rather unguarded kiss in full view of them. It was Harry's pained expression though that hurt her more than Ron's childish reaction and she tried to ease the tension with a quip. At the mention of Ginny's reaction if she were to look over and see Ron kissing his long time friend Hermione had hoped to reduce the table to laughter or at least a display of disgust from Ron that would distract him from his sister however the blush that Ron could barely hide confused and troubled her.

She had never been more grateful for the arrival of one of her professors as Slughorn's voice boomed out behind her. Harry was immediately on his feet and began speaking to the old wizard in a way Hermione had never heard him use before. Slughorn was clearly slightly inebriated and glad of the audience as he rambled on however when the inebriation passed to his hand Hermione barely dodged the ale that fell from his tankard towards her lap. She busied herself in wiping away a few drops that had fallen onto her jeans as Harry continued to listen to his teacher unperturbed. Hermione heard the mention of a supper party, Harry swiftly receiving an invite before Slughorn turned to her with the same offer that she was too curious and polite to refuse.

Ron was the first to call Harry on his apparent affection for their Potions Master but Harry soon passed on his reasons, Dumbledore having set him the task of getting to know Slughorn but without any further reason. Hermione felt a jolt at the unblemished trust her friend showed in their headmaster, feeling once more the pang of the old man's deceit and wishing she could speak of it. Severus had never mentioned any need for Harry to better know Slughorn and she filed the question away in her mind in the hope of putting it to him when she saw him.

Ginny and Dean finally made their way from the pub and the three of them returned to happier conversations, distractions finally removed from them. Of course Harry brought the talk back round to his suppositions on Draco but Hermione indulged the boys in their wild plots, happy to be spending time with them regardless of the subject matter. They ate lunch but when talk moved to venturing to the shops that littered the village they all looked out of the window with trepidation at the swirling snow and they all silently agreed that the school would prove far warmer than the streets of Hogsmeade.

They began the walk back with the same good humour they had had in the pub and Hermione felt very grateful that they could still enjoy such moments when so much was at stake. She was about to tell them as much when they heard a scream from ahead of them, two girls from their own house seeming to be the source. They looked on to see one of them on the ground, Katie Bell, the Quidditch teams best seeker lying prone in the snow. Before they could react she was thrown bodily across the path, her bones cracking at the unnatural positions she was forced into before she was lifted into the air. Her neck was bent back too far and her face was set in an agonising silent scream for what seemed like hours to the dumbstruck students gathered below but it was nothing to the sickening thud that came when she fell back to the ground, her body twitching with the after affects of the curse.

Hermione was about the run to her aid when a voice stopped her, Hagrid stepping from behind them with clear instructions that they knew better than not to follow. The half-giant gently picked up the stricken girl before hastening them all to follow him. They all did as he asked and followed him back to the castle, the spectacle having drawn quite a crowd as they reached the gates. McGonagall was the first of their teachers to see them and she hurried Hagrid to the hospital wing before ushering the remaining witnesses into her classroom. She swiftly removed the package Harry carried from his possession, keeping as much distance from it as she could whilst her wand did the work. An elegant necklace was set amongst its velvet packaging but something in the air around it seemed entirely unholy that they all kept their distance from it.

McGonagall headed to the classroom door, calling for one of the ghosts to attend her, the Bloody Baron the first to answer her call. She spoke quietly to the spirit before he disappeared back into the walls, leaving her to return to her charges. She questioned them all but their came no clear answer, Katie having returned with the package and a determination to deliver it to the Headmaster. She swiftly dismissed Katie's companion but kept Hermione and her friends on hand, her expression particularly troubled.

"Why is it when something happens it is always you three?" she said in exasperation.

Hermione almost wanted to laugh, often wondering the same but it was Ron who vocalised it, the humour at least dispelling some of the tension in the room. McGonagall's gaze raised above their heads and Hermione felt herself freeze as the older woman spoke.

"Oh Severus," she said, her tone somewhat pinched, "I didn't know who else to send for."

Hermione dared not turn for fear of giving herself away but she was sure all those gathered could hear the thumping of her heart. She heard his footsteps before he brushed passed her, forcing Ron from his path as he did so. Hermione felt her heart clench as he didn't even look at her but she knew he was maintaining the façade they were forced to hold to. He spoke quietly with McGonagall at the front of the class, bent over the necklace, their words too soft to decipher. He finally straightened and retrieved his wand, levitating the necklace from its case and turning it this way and that to better study it.

The necklace seemed to hiss with the power of the spell, protesting against being so studied. Hermione watched as Severus' whole form tensed in his studies, clearly disturbed by the power manifested before him.

"What do you think?" said McGonagall, her hand clenched at her side as she clearly resisted the more common impulse to reach out to her former friend.

"I think," said Severus in the most measured tone he could muster, "That Miss Bell is very lucky to be alive."

"She was cursed wasn't she?" said Harry, his tone for once not vicious or accusatory towards his teacher, "I know Katie and she wouldn't hurt a fly. If she was delivering that to Professor Dumbledore she wasn't doing it knowingly."

McGonagall conceded the truth in Harry's words and Hermione felt a chill go up her spine at the thought but it was Harry's words that truly alarmed her.

"It was Malfoy," he said, with no doubt in his tone.

Both teachers turned in shock at the accusation but Hermione could see the dread in Severus' eyes that he couldn't fully hide. She wanted to reach out to him, knowing the thought that they had been so close to danger was troubling him but she could not. She watched on in agony as he was forced once more to hector Harry rather than speak to him as he longed to, his words barbed and cutting rather than enquiring. McGonagall swiftly dismissed them but Hermione caught Severus' eye as she turned to leave and knew the instruction that lay in them.

They returned to the common room and Hermione was for once glad that Harry and Ron were embroiled in their accusations against anyone who had ever set foot in Slytherin house. She slipped quietly into her room, locking the door behind her before she all but ran to the fireplace. She extinguished the flames and stepped inside, activating the floo and soon finding herself in the larger grate of Severus' rooms. The room was dark but she knew he would not be long. She paced the rug before the fire, unable to settle as so many thoughts fought for dominance in her head.

She heard the door to his chambers open before he strode in, his eyes immediately falling on her, sparked with concern. Hermione smiled at the sight of him but he did not return it and instead of the embrace she expected she found herself taken forcibly by the arms as she was forced to stand on tiptoes to meet his gaze.

"What on Earth do you think you are doing getting yourself involved with curses like that?" he demanded, "Have you any idea what that could have done to you? To any of you? What were you thinking?"

"It wasn't deliberate," she said, feeling tears spring to her eyes at his rage, "We were leaving Hogsmeade and we saw what happened to Katie, what were we meant to do? We couldn't just stand by. We were careful, Hagrid told us to be careful. We didn't touch the necklace, just the wrappers. We didn't know what had happened."

Severus seemed to calm slightly, his grip loosening as his gaze fell to his feet. Hermione let her feet rest more comfortably on the floor, her own hands coming up to grip his forearms, feeling the tension there.

"Forgive me," he said sadly, "I'd barely returned when the Bloody Baron came for me and told me what happened. Katie is such a dear, sweet girl and for her to be hurt in such a way… then to find you so near to it. Forgive me, I panicked. Every day I worry for your safety and today compounded how little I can do to protect you."

"Hush," said Hermione, taking his face in her hands, "I'm well and safe and so are Harry and Ron, we were not in harm's way. I'm sorry if we frightened you. For once we didn't go looking for trouble."

"Yet trouble finds you," said Severus, his gaze weary as it met hers, "That curse was so dangerous."

"I know, it was terrible seeing what it did to Katie," said Hermione, "Who would have done such a thing?"

"Your friend seemed to have quite a strong opinion on that scale," said Severus, "Does he realise where accusations like that could get him? Where did he come by such thoughts?"

Hermione shook her head before she took his hand and led him to the sofa, sitting down on it and tugging him beside her, "Harry thinks he saw something before term started. He and Ron saw Malfoy in Borgin and Burkes and Harry's convinced…"

"Convinced of what, Hermione you must tell me," said Severus, "I know Harry hates Malfoy but he would have good reason to say what he did to me today."

"Harry thinks he saw Malfoy being… he saw him with some of the Death Eaters, I think Bellatrix LeStrange was there and Harry now assumes…"

"That Malfoy is a Death Eater too," finished Severus.

Hermione nodded before she met his gaze, "Is he right?"

Severus sighed, his hands tightening on hers, "Malfoy has taken the mark but he is not yet called a Death Eater, he has not yet met the conditions of his initiation."

"And you know what those conditions are, don't you?"

"But I cannot speak of them, not to you, not yet," said Severus, "I said when I first returned that there were things I would need to keep from you and this is one of them."

Hermione lowered her gaze, "I understand."

Severus huffed out a humourless laugh, "But you are put out by it nonetheless," he said, "We once knew all there was to know of one another and now I am forced to conceal much and push your trust in me further than I fear it capable of being stretched. I know this hurts you."

"I just want to be able to help you," said Hermione, "But I feel like you push me away every time I try to."

"Darling, I'm not trying to push you away," said Severus, "I know the fact that I did not take you with me this weekend troubles you but for what I can tell you, the reason I went was that I knew Draco's mother would come to me about the very subject that came out today."

"You knew about the necklace?"

"No but I know about Draco's mark and the task he has been given. I can say little more but Narcissa and I have come to an understanding that may help me prevent more people being hurt than might otherwise be. I have made the unbreakable vow with Narcissa but I must keep the details of that secret from you. I could not take you to my home because I knew there would be Death Eaters there and I would not have been able to hide you. Do not think I did not want you there. I missed you, so very much."

Hermione felt a smile play at her lips at his final words but refused it, instead getting to her feet and removing her hands from his grip, "I know you left me here to protect me but we both know there is more to this than one weekend," she said, "Severus sometimes you can barely look at me. When you hold me its like I'm with Harry or Ron, like a brother. Your kisses are all but platonic, as though they're a duty not a need. You won't touch me, you won't love me. You used to reach for me at night, wake me just so you could love me, now it feels like there is a gulf between us. I know you will always try to protect me but I don't know if you still love me. I asked you to come back to me with an answer, I need you to tell me what that is."

Severus was silent and for a moment Hermione felt as though an answer would never come but then his voice rang out in the silence of the room, lacking its usual authority.

"I have never loved anyone as I love you," he said, "You are the centre of my very being."

"Then why?"

"My whole life has been darkness, lies, deception, dishonesty," he said, "Even that which I have clung to for its purity has been tarnished by its association to me and now here you stand, so innocent, so young."

"I'm not innocent Severus."

"In comparison to me you are," he said, getting to his feet, "Hermione it is hard for me to put this into words but I'm frightened of what will happen to you because of me. I am in a position of responsibility for you, regardless of any arguments to the contrary, I am required to protect you and how can I begin to do that when I break every single rule laid down to me as a teacher."

"Not that old song," said Hermione, feeling her anger rising, "You've played that hand before. All the way through last year, when you were our age every time you wanted to do something that put you in harms way you told us you had never been released from your position as our teacher. Yet those responsibilities didn't seem to bother you when you were taking my virginity."

"Hermione that was different."

"How was that different?" said Hermione, "You said you were our teacher then, you say you're our teacher now. How is this different?"

"Because then I wasn't looking over my shoulder every two minutes knowing what will happen and not being able to stop it. I wasn't forced to lie to the people I love. I wasn't forced to play this god-awful role, day and night being someone I'm not. Back then I was free, I shared your burdens but mine were no greater. I was so full of dreams, of hope and that came crashing down around me because someone I thought I could trust betrayed me. If I had strength enough to do it I would push you away so completely but I'm weak and I love you so I give you this half-life that is cruelty to both you and me. I look at you and I see the most wonderful girl I have ever known, a girl who has seen so much and yet still sees the world through favourable eyes. Why would I not want to keep that near me?"

Hermione felt the tears running down her cheeks as she watched him breaking, "I don't understand," she said, "Do you want me to walk away, is that why you're doing this? I don't want to hurt you so if that's what you need, I'll do it but I'll always love you. Do you want me to walk away?"

Severus shook his head, "I need you."

"Then let yourself go. I will not break if you love me. I know I cannot understand all that you've gone through but if you can take comfort in me, then take it," she said, "I'll ask no questions, I won't push you for news, I won't make any demands of your time."

"You would make such sacrifices so willingly I know but I can't ask that of you."

"Yes you can," said Hermione, she said slipping the chain from around her neck and setting the ring from it in his palm before she closed his fingers over it, "You gave me this ring, you asked me to be your wife and with that I take all your trials. Severus I know we are both so altered after what happened this summer but I don't want to be without you."

Severus closed his free hand over their joined ones, "You don't know me."

"Then let me learn, Professor," she said, seeing the small smile he could not keep at her words, "Do you love me Severus?"

"I love you," he said honestly, meeting her gaze.

"And I love you," she said, "That's a foundation at least, we can start from there."

"Start?" he said.

"From the beginning," she said, "We can take this as slowly as you want, fall in love again. I know you feel unworthy and that you put me in danger but I'm in danger anyway. Please give us a chance Severus."

He brought their joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to her fingers, "You are such an extraordinary woman," he said, "To put up with me the way you do."

"I'm a sucker for a hopeless case, it seems," she said, resting her palm against his cheek, "We'll take this as slowly as you want. I'll only come when you call but know that you can do so any time."

She raised herself on her toes enough to press her lips to his, glad when she felt his tentative response grow surer when she refused to pull back from him. His arms came around her, holding her tightly against him until she could feel the beating of his heart against her chest. When air became a necessity they broke their embrace but Severus kept her close, his eyes bright with tears as he regarded her.

"I really am a foolish old man."

Hermione giggled, "Less of the old you, that's my fiancé you're denigrating."

"And yet you appear to be without your engagement ring."

"So it would appear," said Hermione, smiling as he took hold of her left hand and held it before him before he slid the delicate ring home once more.

"I know you cannot wear it when it may be seen but when you're here, with me, I want to see you wear it," he said, "It will…remind me, not to be so foolish from now on. You do understand though, why I have been the way I have."

Hermione nodded, "You were wrong but I understand. I forget however much older you look you spent a year being sixteen again, I think that's earned you the right to be a little foolish now and then."

He smiled, "We will take this slowly, rebuild what we've lost," he said, "And I will somehow feel worthy of you again. I will be worthy of you Hermione."

Hermione knew better than to correct him, instead leaning up to kiss him once more knowing that they would rely on her strength to carry them through the coming weeks but that she would bear it as best she could. At first the sound that met her ears didn't stir her but it came instant again and she realised that there was someone knocking on the chamber door. Severus released her before his face fell.

"That will no doubt be Page," he said, "She wanted to speak to me the moment I returned and I was only too grateful for the Baron's interruption."

"Damn Page and her interruptions," said Hermione, "Can I come down after supper? I've missed you so much."

"If I am free I will collect you from your room a half hour after dinner ends," said Severus before the knocking came again, "Now go and fear not for my affections any longer. I am with you."

Hermione kissed him once more before she stepped into the fireplace, offering a smile as her parting gift and receiving his back in return before she spoke the direction for her room. As she stepped out of her own hearth once more she allowed herself another smile, content that whatever happened they would face it together.


	5. Forgiving

A/N: Well I'm back and hopefully will update a little more regularly now. Thank you to all who have waited, I know its been a while.

Forgiving

"Severus?" said Hermione from where she was bent over a bubbling cauldron, "It says in the book that if I add three drops of the redcap venom the potion should turn green but this is brown. I don't know what I've done wrong."

Severus lifted his head from where he was studying the depths of his own cauldron, the potion within clearly some concoction of his own as he started and restarted it again and again, making notes each time it went awry. They had spent several evenings working side by side in Severus' private laboratory after he had invited her to practice her NEWT work there and had fallen into a happy routine after their discussion the previous Sunday, Severus calling on her every night after dinner had ended and inviting her down to his rooms in the dungeon. Hermione had taken to bringing her homework with her and often would pose the questions she had difficulty with to him. They would work into the night but Hermione would always return to her own room to sleep, his kiss warm on her lips as she left him.

Hermione smiled up at him as he came to her side setting his glasses in place before bending over her cauldron before he looked down at her open potions book.

"The book says three," he said, picking up the pipette she had been using, "However, it does not give an exact measure therefore…four drops should give you the desired effect."

Hermione smiled as the potion turned the colour it was supposed to be, "You're so clever."

"So are you," said Severus, turning down the heat on the cauldron and leaning back against the bench.

Hermione shook her head, "I couldn't work that out."

"That's because you have been schooled to pass exams," said Severus, "And to pass exams you must jump through a series of hoops. You must shake off what you have learnt so far and learn to trust you intuition. You are a brilliant young witch, soon to be an apprentice of one of the most complex skills in our world, you will learn so much but I can help you to begin. Twenty years ago I thought as you did but alone I learnt what I had to do, I made so many mistakes, mistakes that you need not make with me to guide you."

Hermione smiled, "You'll never stop being my teacher," she said taking his hand.

Severus raised it to his lips, pressing a kiss just above where her engagement ring glittered on her finger, "Nor shall you ever stop being mine," he said, "Come, place a stasis on this and come back to it tomorrow. You've been hard at work all week, you deserve an evening off."

"I wish I could but I need to finish this tonight," said Hermione, "After lessons tomorrow I have that supper thing with Slughorn."

"Ah yes, round one of the initiation into the Slug-Club," said Severus, "A select bunch if ever there were to be one. I think it's easier to get into the inner circle of Voldemort's followers."

"Don't tease," said Hermione, "I'd bet anything that you were part of it when you were at school."

"Well I was the most gifted potions student to grace the halls of Hogwarts," said Severus, with mock pride, "It would make a mockery of the club if I was not amongst them."

Hermione giggled, "Vanity doesn't suit you Severus," she said, adding another ingredient to her cauldron before counting the number of stirs she made, "What exactly am I letting myself into?"

"With the Slug-Club?" said Severus, "If its anything like it was you can expect a lot of simpering from Slughorn, nomination of favourites and lots of sweets. I went the first few times when I was invited however after I reached my sixth year it seemed I always had an urgent piece of homework to do."

"That bad huh?" said Hermione moving him out of the way as she carefully chopped the hyacinth root she needed to add to the bubbling mixture.

"Very dull and at that point an unwelcome torture too," he said.

"Torture?"

"In my fifth year, when I was first invited, I wasn't alone. Lily matched me in potion scores and we'd always go together, inseparable as we were," said Severus, "You can imagine Slughorn's enthusiasm when he realised that."

"I can imagine it would have been hard to see her after you argued," said Hermione before she frowned down into her cauldron, "It still bothers me she never forgave you for that. Couldn't you have used the time to speak to her though?"

Severus sighed, absently passing her the vial of dragon's blood she needed to complete the potion, "I did try however wherever she went she always had an escort," he said, "She'd begun to partner Lupin in potions and his scores improved immensely so he was invited in therefore every time she went so did he, I never had a moment to speak to her."

Hermione reached over and squeezed his arm, "I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to pry."

"It was a valid question," he said covering her hand with his own, "Besides, I want to have as few secrets from you as possible. Finish your potion, I need to make some notes on mine. I'll be in the living room when you're done."

Hermione wanted to stop him but let him leave all the same, the subject of his friendship with Lily often having been difficult for him to talk of. She watched him go, seeing the tension in his shoulders as he stepped through the door into the bedroom. Her heart constricted as he disappeared from view, wondering if there would ever be a moment when the shadow of Lily's presence in his life wouldn't cast a dampener over their time together. She had always understood that Severus would always carry the memories of his lost friend but, with their situation as strained as it was, she worried that the memories of happier times with the dead woman would out weigh the joy of the half-life they were currently being forced to live.

She continued with her potion but her heart was not in it and the end result was far from the perfection she usually strived for. She made the minimal amount of notes she would need to right up a fuller account later before tidying up her work area, glad in their fastidiousness at least she and Severus were equally matched. She paused at his workbench on her way to the door, looking down at the ingredients set out there but unable to work out what he could be working on. She passed through the dark bedroom, running her hand along the dark green comforter that was laid over the sheets and her heart twisted in knowing that it would be a long while before she could share the space with him again.

She moved into the living room, the candles and fireplace giving the room a warm glow and casting into stark relief Severus' form as he scanned the books on the far side of the room. Hermione set her notes down on the small side table that she seemed to have taken as her own before turning to the bookcase nearest to the fireplace, returning the potions text she had borrowed to its rightful place. She indulged herself a moment in scanning the titles, some written in language so ancient she could not even begin to understand it.

She almost jumped in surprise as two strong arms wrapped around her waist, drawing her back against a firm chest.

"I have upset you, I'm sorry," said Severus, resting his cheek against her hair.

"I'm not upset but…"

"It hurt you that I left the room when talk turned to Lily," he said, stilling any argument, "Its not for want of what I once longed for in my relationship with her that pains me now, I told you long ago that my love for Lily holds nothing in comparison to you. What saddens me is that she and I never got the chance to make amends, to restore at least some of the friendship that we had shared. It is with such regret that I look back on our combined actions then that made us part on such terms. My best friend died hating me Hermione, allow me the grief that it was I that caused that to happen. Back then it was foolishness that cost me, now I have lost my best friend through necessity for much I still have you I have lost Harry who was coming to be as close to me as a brother. I miss him greatly and now all I see is hate in his eyes, the same eyes that his mother bore the same look in years ago."

"Oh Severus," said Hermione covering his hands at her waist with her own, "I know you miss him. I don't mean to get so jealous and I hate that I always manage to make you drag up sad memories of Lily."

"But at least I have someone to speak to of those memories," he said, "And they are not all sad. One day I will say her name and all I will feel is the fondness for a former acquaintance. She was my past Hermione but you and I are to build our future if we may."

Hermione smiled, "You should have been a poet," she said, "You could be my Lord Byron."

"A neurotically desperate syphilitic and opium addict," said Severus, with a tone of affront but his arms only tightened at her waist, "You wound me Miss Granger besides I would have thought you regarded me more as your Rochester."

Hermione turned in his arms, amusement playing on her face, "My Rochester?"

Severus smiled, "Am I not?" he said, "Here you stand, so many years younger than me, as yet truly unacquainted with the world and me, dark, unhandsome creature with a temper and a dark past."

Hermione giggled, "So long as you do not have a mad wife locked in the Astronomy Tower I can cope with you being Rochester," she said, "And you are very handsome even if you refuse to see it."

Severus rested his forehead against hers, "If I promise I definitely have no wife locked in the Astronomy Tower am I forgiven?"

"Nothing to forgive," said Hermione, kissing him as the clock chimed over the mantelpiece, "I didn't realise it was so late."

"My fault, I should have kept a check while you were working," said Severus, releasing her and helping her to collect her books, "Can't have you falling asleep in class, not with your NEWTs in the summer. I intend to see you pass every one with the best results possible."

Hermione frowned, "I don't know how I'm going to pass Dark Arts," she said, "Not with Voldemort stopping you and Page from teaching us anything we really need."

Severus sat down in the chair Hermione usually took, concern etching itself on his features, "Theoretically you have nothing to concern yourself with, the set text, regardless of what Page and I are forced to teach you all in class, will give you all the information you need to pass the written exam," he said, "As for your practical, I may not have the respect for our Headmaster as I once did but he is a good teacher, he will not let you fail."

"I'm sure he's a wonderful teacher," said Hermione, "But I've had the grand total of four lessons with him since the start of term. He's always cancelling things last minute. Harry's been helping me of course but there's only so much he's learning too."

Severus took her hand, "I didn't realise," he said, stroking the back of her hand with his fingers, "What if we were to find you another teacher?"

Hermione smiled at his tone, "You mean you?" she said.

"It would make sense," he said, "I am after all the Dark Arts Professor and we happen to spend every evening together. We can make arrangements with Dumbledore, as I won't be marking your work there's no issue of preference on my part so I cannot see him objecting. You can maintain the façade of tutoring with him but I will teach you."

"An adequate solution Professor," said Hermione, "Will you speak to him tomorrow?"

Severus nodded, "If I can get him on his own for a moment," he said, "I will ask him to confirm the arrangements to you at some point throughout the day and we can commence after the weekend. Now come along, you should be in bed."

Hermione smiled as she stepped back to allow him to get to his feet but he stilled her before she could bend for her bag. His lips met hers with a familiar pressure and Hermione indulged in the simplicity of the kiss. She was shocked however as his hands moved from her waist to her back, drawing her firmly against him as he deepened the kiss. She heard a moan and realised that it was her own, the passion he met her with startling her after so long of their almost chaste relationship. The sound however seemed to remind him of their boundaries and he released her gently.

"Forgive me," he said, "Its hard not to forget myself around you. I didn't mean to tease."

Hermione struggled to catch her breath before she spoke, "Its alright," she said, "I'm definitely not complaining."

"Even so, I've set these boundaries for us and yet I seem unable to keep to them," he said.

"Well then let me help you keep them," said Hermione, kissing him softly once more before she stepped back from him and picked up her bag, "Can I come to you tomorrow night after the Slug-Club? There's only Quidditch the next morning so I won't need to go to bed early."

Severus shook his head, "I won't be here to see you tomorrow night," he said, "I don't know when I'll be back. We're to meet Voldemort and Rini wanted to do something before we went. I need to go with her so the Dark Lord will believe that she and I are truly working together."

"Rini?" said Hermione, with barely disguised disgust, "You're calling Page, Rini now."

"At her request," said Severus, his fingers brushing softly against her chin, "Don't get jealous, I can truly promise there is absolutely nothing their but I must maintain appearances with her. She reports back to Voldemort on my every move."

Hermione managed a small smile, "Well I hope on some subconscious level she realises that I'll hex her into oblivion if she starts going after my man," she said.

Severus laughed, "I don't doubt that you would," he said, "Your Gryffindor tenacity alone would see to it. I will see you Saturday evening if you'll come down after dinner."

"I will but you'll see me before then anyway, we have a Dark Arts lesson last thing," she said.

"Try not to give me too many reasons to dock house points this time," he said, as he helped her step into the fireplace, "Head down, mouth shut is probably the best advice if you want to avoid getting either mine or Page's attention."

"Yours or Rini's attention don't you mean?" said Hermione as she took hold of the floo powder.

"Your humour astounds me Miss Granger," he said kissing her softly before he put his lips to her ear, "Ten points to Gryffindor."

Hermione smiled as he stepped back, keeping her eyes on his as she tossed down the floo powder and gave the direction to her room.

xxxx

"Ten points from Gryffindor."

A collective groan went up from every student sporting a red and gold tie while several shot scathing looks at their most bumbling classmate as Neville finally bent to pick up his dropped quill from the floor. It had been Page who had issued the point loss this time, slipping the punishment neatly between phrases of her colleague's lecture.

Severus continued with barely a flinch but the point loss pained him, Gryffindor already having lost more than usual as they had come against Page's temper. He was only glad that she had handed the lesson to him at the start of the class, leaving her the disciplinarian as he lectured. He hated when the roles were reversed, feeling compelled to take even more points than necessary but Page seemed to be leaning towards the vindictive more than usual. Deciding he needed to stem her current run of malice he finished his speech before turning to his colleague.

"If you would demonstrate, Professor," he said, with a small bow in her direction.

Page seemed more than happy to demonstrate the vicious protective spells that had been the subject of the class and Severus was only glad that a dummy rather than one of their charges bore the brunt of them. He moved through the desks that lined the classroom, barely able to see those seated on the far side of the room with the lights as low as they were. Page seemed to have taken to her role as main lecturer to heart once more and was menacing the front row with tales of what could occur if their spells went awry. Severus continued to the back of the room, leaning back against the far wall to watch the class. His eyes however did not remain on Page or her pupils but they moved to the spill of now well-tamed hair, down the slim back of the girl who sat at the desk in front of him.

He had wondered at first why there had been an empty seat at the front of the class when he had first strode into the room but when he had stolen a moment to glance over all the students gathered he had spotted Gryffindor's infamous know-it-all perched primly at a desk at the back. He had almost smiled in his gratitude but remembered his required persona before he did, glad nonetheless that she had heeded his request to not give him reason to pick on her. She had been silent all the way through the class, even when Page had made a point of hectoring her and Severus found he missed the sound of her voice.

He noticed the moment Hermione sensed his eyes on her, seeing her tense for a moment before she almost gave into the temptation to look over her shoulder, moving her head back to the front as she realised how obvious the move would be. Severus pushed back to standing and stalked to the edge of the rows of desks before moving back, deliberately close to the students' backs enough to see them flinch as they felt him pass. Finally he reached the back of Hermione's chair and with the barest of movements gently ran his fingers along her back, feeling her tense before she pressed back gently into his hand. He ended the touch as soon as he had begun it, not even missing a step as he continued his tour of the classroom.

From somewhere outside a bell sounded and Page swiftly dismissed them but not before setting them enough homework that was sure to dull any hope of a relaxing weekend. The chairs began to move as quietly as possible and Severus was sure that they had at least avoided losing anymore house points before the all too familiar sound of Ron Weasley's voice rang out in the quiet it what was meant to be a whisper.

"Three bloody feet!" he said of the essay's length, "Bloody slave drivers, don't they know we've got Quidditch tomorrow?"

"And detention tomorrow afternoon if you do not have more care," said Severus as the boy passed him, "Five points from Gryffindor."

Ron scowled at him but at least kept his mouth shut as he headed to the door, several of his housemates waiting there for them. Severus' gaze followed them, lighting on the girl who stood beside the door. He didn't smile and neither did she but they both knew it was there and Severus knew he could face the evening ahead with far less trepidation than he had been.

XXXX

Hermione all but bounced out of the classroom, Severus' warm gaze buoying her despite the knowledge that she would not see him until the following evening. She caught Ron's look and quickly schooled her features but he had seen her smile all the same.

"What are you so happy about?" he said, the points loss clearly still stinging.

She shrugged, "Weekend."

"Whatever," he muttered, "Probably just excited about your genius club."

"Its not a genius club," said Harry, "Its just dinner with Slughorn."

"Where only the geniuses got invited," said Ron, before he turned towards the main doors, "Well while you go swotting I'm going to practice for tomorrow. I'm sure the team will be fine training without the Captain!"

"Ron stop it, you know we've gone through the training plan already this week," said Harry, "We're as prepared as we can be for tomorrow?"

Hermione could see that neither side was going to back down and stepped in, taking hold of Harry's arm, "We need to go, we'll be late," she said.

Harry seemed set the protest but then he nodded, "We'll see you later Ron," he said.

The other boy just shrugged before he sloped off towards the stairs, heading once more down to the pitch to practice for their match in the morning. Hermione and Harry turned towards the common room, separating to quickly change before they headed to Slughorn's office together.

The evening was how Hermione had imagined it would be, no one making much in the way of conversation and awkward silences abounded, filled mostly by Slughorn probing them on their histories. She was at least glad that the food was good, contenting herself with that rather than the conversation. She had thought that with such a select group they would at least be talking about Potions or the finer aspects of magic but it seemed to be little more than a boasting session for those who could, the Pure or Half bloods amongst them dropping names as and when they could. She was only glad that she knew Severus was away from Hogwarts, so she wasn't mourning an evening with him lost to the tedium of the Slug-Club.

As dessert arrived the conversation continued to deteriorate, a boy named Belby nattering on about his somewhat alcoholic father whilst shovelling profiteroles into his mouth and Cormac taking great pleasure in letting all gathered know his connections with the more powerful wizarding families. Hermione let her mind wonder slightly from the crowd, imagining the amusement that would be on Severus' face if he could only see how she was suffering. She almost missed the question Slughorn directed towards her but caught enough to answer him though it was without her usual poise. She felt every inch a Muggle-born as they all looked at her in confusion as she explained the nature of her parents' employment. She carried on all the same, hoping she made sense to them and tried her best to defuse the obvious tension that had seemed to surface in the room.

Finally the conversation moved away from her and she felt quite relieved, letting her eyes wander over those who gathered to see if any of them were still looking at her with the confusion her conversation had provoked. She instantly regretted the action as she met Cormac's eyes, the look in them clearly trying to be becoming to her but they merely made her stomach flip with disgust. She heard the door open and looked up, her heart giving her a false hope that she would see Severus stride in with his robes billowing behind him. She could imagine him crossing the room and offering her his hand as the room looked on in shock. He would tell her that he was free of Voldemort before he kissed her without a care for who saw and sweep her from the room.

She smiled ruefully to herself as it was Ginny who came through the door but her self-mirth was short lived as she saw the red rims to her eyes. She felt Harry stiffen beside her at the sound of the younger girl's voice as she apologised for her tardiness and leant towards him.

"Look at her eyes," she said, "She and Dean have been fighting again."

She felt him stiffen further and knew that it was hatred that rushed his veins, hatred for anyone that had brought pain to the girl he was watching. She knew the feeling well, the rage familiar to her whenever she heard someone speak ill of Severus. Ginny began to head to the table and to everyone's surprise Harry got to his feet, the courtesy long since abandoned even in the wizarding world.

Ginny swiftly took her seat and soon the group had even forgotten her entrance as the posturing continued. Hermione was glad when the elves came and took their plates, allowing everyone to leave their seats and split into groups around the room. She had hoped to stay with Harry and Ginny but Slughorn collared her before she could head to them.

"I was very impressed with your paper on Wolfsbane that you handed in to me yesterday Miss Granger," he said, "Very insightful."

"Thank you sir," she said with a preen, glad that her future mentor had such faith in her work, "I hope my suggestions for improvement weren't too experimental."

"Not at all," he said, "The ideas have merit if they can be captured but the ingredients are rare."

"But with the proper application the effects of the potion could be longer lasting," said Hermione, "Perhaps it is something we could look at in more detail in my private lessons."

"Certainly," said Slughorn, "With work like that we could have you taking your exams in weeks rather than months. I have little doubt my dear that you will make the shelf one day."

Hermione felt a colour take her cheeks as he gestured to the surface that was all but groaning under the weight of the pictures that were on displayed on it. Slughorn's words had drawn the attention of several glances of those gathered and Hermione longed to be away from the scrutiny. Luckily for her Neville chose that moment to topple a vase he had been looking at, only a swift spell from Blaise stopping it from crashing to the floor. Slughorn was immediately rushing to the abused vase with concern and Hermione made good her escape. Her path to Harry and Ginny however was thwarted by an arm that came to rest against the pillar she was about to pass.

"Granger."

Hermione suppressed the urge to shove his arm out of the way and forced a smile, "Cormac," she said, trying to find a way to step around him.

"Enjoying the evening?" he said.

"Splendid," she said, hating her own tone but wanting to remove herself as quickly as she could from his presence.

"Going to the game tomorrow?"

Hermione looked briefly over his shoulder, catching Harry's eye and hoping her realised that he was needed, "Our house is playing and my best friend is our Seeker, I think its safe to say that I'll be there."

"Its just you lock yourself away a lot," he said.

"I do have a lot of work on," she said, glad as she saw Harry approach them.

"McLaggan," he said, clapping the older boy on his back, "I've been meaning to talk to you about the Quidditch reserve team."

Hermione didn't give Cormac a chance to protest as she ducked passed him, silently thanking Harry for stepping in to rescue her. She headed over to Ginny, saying nothing as she hugged the younger girl to her, knowing that she needed to say little to comfort her. She let Ginny choose the direction of the conversation thereafter, the pair of them chatting contentedly about anything other than the subjects the desperately wanted to share with one another. Harry finally rejoined them, Cormac having been collared by Slughorn but the conversation was stilted at best until Ginny claimed a headache and excused herself from the party.

Inane conversation only lasted so long and Harry and Hermione soon found themselves sat side by side on the sofa, watching the proceedings form a distance. Hermione turned to look at her friend, seeing the pensive look on his face.

"Worrying about Quidditch tactics?" she said.

Harry smiled, "Not particularly," he said, "What was that with McLaggan earlier?"

"What was what with McLaggan?"

"He seemed particularly keen on talking to you tonight."

Hermione grimaced, "Everywhere I turn he's there," she said, "I've got no idea why he's suddenly so interested."

Harry laughed lightly, "I might be immune because you're like a sister to me but have you looked in the mirror recently?" he said, "Cormac's not the only one to have noticed either."

"Well I'm not interested in any of them," said Hermione, "I wish they'd get the hint, Cormac especially."

Harry was silent for a moment, a frown on his face before he spoke, "You need to move on one day you know," he said, his hand straying to her collar and catching the chain that bore her engagement ring, "From Sn…from Severus. He's gone. He's…"

"I know what he is Harry," said Hermione, her voice catching, "But I can't…"

"I'm sorry," said Harry as he saw the tears in her eyes, "I shouldn't have said anything."

Hermione wanted to tell him that everything was fine but the words wouldn't come to her and she got to her feet. She leant down to hug him, taking the sting from her sudden move before she smiled weakly, "I think its time I went to bed," she said, "Don't worry about me Harry. I'm fine."

The boy looked unconvinced but nodded, "Goodnight then," he said.

"Goodnight Harry," said Hermione, glad few eyes were on them as she headed to the door.

She headed through the quieting corridors, the majority of students having retired already to their common rooms as the curfew swiftly approached. She glanced over at the stairs that would have led her to the dungeons and longed to head down to Severus' rooms in full view of those who knew her, to let everyone see how proud she was to be his but she knew she had to keep their secret, more than their own lives at risk if it was revealed.

The Gryffindor common room was sparsely populated when she arrived, most people having retired to their beds despite it being a Friday night. There was no one up who inspired Hermione to remain in the room and so she headed to her private chamber. For a moment she allowed herself the brief hope that she would find Severus sat upon the bed awaiting her but she was unsurprised to find the room empty. She drew herself a bath, dropping her clothes without a care on the bedroom floor before she headed into the room that was filling rapidly with steam. The warm, fragrant steam relaxed her more than anything as she sank into the water. She reached back and unfastened the chain around her neck, removing the ring from it before she let the chain fall forgotten to the floor. She slid the ring home before admiring it in the candlelight, the light bouncing off both the light and dark gems that made it up.

"Severus," she murmured softly, moving her hands languidly through the water before she brought them up to her neck, rubbing at the tired muscles.

She let her mind wander onto memories of the summer when it had been Severus' skilled hands that had coaxed her tired muscles into relaxation. She smiled as she remembered where such a touch had so often led, touch that was denied her now through the constraints so forced upon them. She refused to let such constraints infringe on the space she had been given as her own and let her mind recollect the fonder memories she held of Severus. At first she called consciously on them but soon they came unbidden but she found them altered all the same, the face of the man replacing the face of the boy in all the memories despite what had been their reality. Her hands travelled paths that his had once taken and soon she found herself keening his name, though the pleasure was only a fraction of what she had known with him.

The water began to cool around her and she realised she had left her wand in the bedroom and as such could not warm it once more with magic. She finally left the bathroom and returned to the bedroom, snagging Severus' shirt from beneath her pillow and slipping it on. She extinguished the flames in the fireplace and climbed into bed, pulling the covers around her and closing her eyes as her fingers traced the stones of her engagement ring.

It felt like only moments later when she opened her eyes again but the moonlight that had filtered through her window no longer did so and she knew she awoke far into the depths of the night. At first she thought to turn back to her pillow but a noise caught her attention and she reached on instinct for her wand, casting a light into the room with a swift spell. It took her a moment for her eyes to fall on what had woken her but when she did she couldn't escape the gasp that escaped her.

"Severus!"

"I didn't mean to wake you," he said from where he sat by the now lit fireside, his black robes trailing around him as he sat on the rug with his arms wrapped around his knees, "Go back to sleep."

Hermione ignored the instruction, pulling the robe around her shoulders to keep out the residual chill of the room, "How long have you been here?" she said as she padded softly towards him.

"Half an hour or so," he said, "I couldn't bear the dungeons, they felt so oppressive."

Hermione stiffened as she heard the slight catch in his voice, "You should have woken me."

"Your presence was enough to comfort me, just listening to you sleep," said Severus, his voice holding a distance in its quality, "It helped me to…"

Hermione hurriedly fastened her robe as she watched him break, his face buried in his arms as he sobbed without a care for who heard him. She hurried to his side, pulling him into her arms despite how disconcerted she felt when she realised he wore not his teacher's robes but those he wore as a Death Eater. She hushed him as best she could but he continued to cry unabated, even the tears she had heard from him when Dumbledore had given him the choice of age or Azkaban nothing in comparison.

"Sweetheart, tell me what's wrong," she pleaded, "Severus please, I don't know what to do."

"Dead, so many dead," he said, his tears barely quieting as he kept tight hold of her, "It was so dark, so close. I couldn't breathe and all the time… screaming, they were screaming."

"Hush," said Hermione, rocking him gently as she realised the horrors he spoke of where one's he had seen that night, "Don't talk if it makes it worse. Hush my love."

Severus seemed to calm for a moment and his grip on the robe she wore seemed to loosen but something played once more in his mind and he choked on a sob, "I killed people tonight."

Hermione froze but she kept hold of him, knowing that he would have been under such duress to even contemplate such an action. As though the words were a catalyst for it though, her senses caught the distinct smell of blood, a scent all too familiar to her. Panic gripped her and she swiftly pushed at his shoulders, cursing the low light as she tried to make out any mark on the black robe that could indicate injury.

"You're hurt," she said desperately, "Let me see."

Severus pulled away from her searching hands, running his hands frantically over his robes before he tore them off, "Its not my blood," he said, "Not mine. Its theirs, those poor girls, its theirs."

Hermione reached out to him, managing to close her fingers around his forearm as he tried to keep back from her, "Sweetheart, it's over now," she said, "It's over. Whatever he made you do, it's over."

Severus shook his head, "I will never be rid of it," he said, his black hair falling to mask his face, "It was meant to be no more than a meeting, Page and I were meant to report on Harry's movements at the school, our suspicions on the Order."

"Take your time," said Hermione, moving to his side and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"We got there and already I knew the night would be rough," said Severus, "So many more of Voldemort's followers than were necessary for the task I had thought to perform. I saw them as we descended further into the house, four girls, not a one of them a day over fourteen, poor wretched things. They'd been there a while, there were marks upon them already but the worst was still to come. They were Muggle, not a drop of magical blood in their veins, each stolen from their beds and forced into a kinship of agony at the hands of Voldemort's most trusted circle. Voldemort was in a mood that seemed almost gleeful and swiftly invited us to watch. We obeyed of course but I turned away when his attention wasn't on me. I doubt I need to tell you what happened next, those poor girls."

"No you don't," said Hermione softly, "But you can if you want to, if you need to."

"I can't," he said, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, "I might not have seen it all but I heard it, oh how I heard it. I could cope though, I've sat through worse at Voldemort's whim but I didn't know what he had in store for me. He called me to him, forced me to look at the devastation that was becoming of those girls' innocence and that's when I saw her and it was all I could do not to scream. She looked so like you, a few years younger maybe but so like you. I swear my heart stopped beating and over and over I had to tell myself that she wasn't you. Voldemort offered her to me, a reward and a test. I claimed incapability once more and so he kept me at his side whilst MacNair fulfilled the Dark Lord's wishes."

Hermione said nothing as she felt the man in her arms shudder, knowing how desperately vulnerable he was as he relied on her to be a lifeline tethering him to reality. Severus was silent for a long time and Hermione wasn't sure if she even knew that she was there as he moved neither towards her nor away from her.

"I killed them Hermione," said Severus suddenly, his voice cutting through the silence of the room, "I killed them. They were half dead when the Death Eaters were done with them and in such pain but they would have lived, recovered in time. Voldemort couldn't allow that and so he bid his followers despatch them. I knew they wouldn't be kind, that those girls would reach death through even more torture than they had already suffered and I couldn't let it happen so I asked for the boon. I begged Voldemort to let me kill the vile, Muggle girls. Those evil, ambitious girls that longed to bear a wizard's child and I hated my own voice, begged Providence to strike me mute. He granted my request and one by one I took their lives, I watched the light go out of their eyes a moment after they'd given me their name. I'll never forgive them."

Hermione moved so that she was knelt before him, taking his face in her hands, "You spared them," she said softly, "You spared them so much pain."

Severus shook his head vehemently, "I murdered them," he said, "If there is such a place as hell then my presence there is assured."

Hermione pressed a kiss to his forehead, "The first girl, the one who looked like me, what was her name?"

"Laura," he said, a tear breaking loose and coursing down his cheek, "She was called Laura."

Hermione kissed the tear drop, only pulling back far enough to whisper against his cheek, "Laura forgives you," she said, "Who was the second girl?"

Severus' breathing hitched as his tears fell anew, partly at her touch and partly at her words, "Mary," he said.

"Mary forgives you," said Hermione repeating the gesture on his other cheek.

"Annabelle," said Severus without prompting, "And Catelyn."

"Annabelle forgives you," said Hermione, "Catelyn forgives you."

Severus shuddered at the tenderness in her touch but was surprised as she leaned in once more and kissed his lips as gently as she had his tears.

"I forgive you," said Hermione, her entire heart behind the words, "I forgive you Severus."

She needed no prompting to take him into her arms as he fell almost boneless into them. She ran a hand along his back, hushing him softly as her other hand stroked his long dark hair. She knew he was balancing on a knife edge from what he had seen but she also knew he would be reliant on her to pull him back to normality as quickly as she could.

"On your feet," she said firmly, "I'll run you a bath and fetch you something to sleep in, you're staying with me tonight."

Severus shook his head, "I won't sleep, the nightmares, they'll…"

"I'll carry you through them," said Hermione, "I know we agreed on boundaries but you need me with you tonight. Let me run you a bath, it'll help you feel better."

Severus let her guide him to his feet, fatigue causing him to lean on her as they crossed the dimly lit room to the bathroom. Hermione left him to lean against the washstand as she charmed the taps on the bath, the tub filling far quicker than the natural run of water would allow. He stiffened as Hermione's hands went to the buttons of his shirt, beginning to unbutton them. He bit back any words though at her look, years of administering such a scowl not leaving him immune to it when it was turned on him.

Hermione slowly undressed him, the action feeling more maternal than what she was used to, knowing he needed her comfort and calm to keep him grounded. Finally she guided him to the water, feeling an inexplicable blush on her cheeks as he climbed in despite having undressed him without such a reaction. She finally settled him, leaning over to kiss him softly.

"Stay here and try to relax," she said, "I'll go to your rooms and get you some clothes."

"Hermione," said Severus, his hand closing gently around her forearm, "Thank you, my darling."

She smiled, gently patting his hand, "I'll be two minutes," she said, heading once more to the door.

In short order she returned, soft cotton strewn over her arm that she has seen him wear to bed before. She returned to the bathroom, depositing the nightwear on the vanity before she turned to him. He had barely moved or so it seemed, his hair damp only at the ends where it trailed in the water, but his eyes were caught on the mark on his left arm; the deep black etching marring the perfect pale skin. Hermione hated the look in his eyes, the look that told her he was a heartbeat away from finding a knife and hacking the cursed mark out of his flesh.

"Severus," she said softly, "One day it will be gone. One day you will be free."

"Maybe," he said, his voice distant, "But what will be left of me?"

"Everything," said Hermione, kneeling beside the bath and laying her small hand against his chest, "What you have to do…what you're forced to do by Voldemort and by Dumbledore is not capable of destroying who you are unless you let it. You told me what you were forced to do tonight and I didn't run screaming because I know you had to do it."

"Only you could forgive a murderer," said Severus.

"I may be asking your forgiveness before all this is over," said Hermione, "If a war comes, my magic will be used to end lives, I know it."

Severus reached a hand up to her cheek, causing water droplets to cling to her skin as he did so, "I will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening," he said, "I will do all I can to keep you from the fight."

Hermione smiled, covering his hand with her own and not even attempting to engage in the old fight over her place in the war, "Come one," she said, deciding that to continue on their maudlin thread would only damage them both, "You'd best get washed up before you turn into a prune. Your clothes are on the side and I'm sure I can manage tea."

"Looking after me again," said Severus, his eyes still dull but not as haunted as they had been.

"Always," said Hermione, getting to her feet and heading back to the bedroom.

She looked back to see Severus watching her with a half smile before returning one of her own, glad he was emerging from his darkened mood.

She had the tea steeping in the pot when Severus finally emerged from her bathroom, dressed in the loose pyjama pants and t-shirt she had grown used to seeing him in first as a teenager and then as an adult. His long black hair was wet and pushed back from his face, dripping steadily onto his shoulders before he rubbed at it with the towel still in his hands.

"Better?" she said, forcing her voice into a more cheerful tone.

"A little," he said, folding the towel neatly and hanging it over the back of her dressing table chair, "I'm sure the tea will improve things further."

"And then a cuddle even more?" said Hermione, fixing their drinks and handing him a cup.

"A plan if I ever heard one," said Severus, taking her hand as he led her over to the bed.

The mood improved steadily as they sat together, talk moving from lessons and school to their planned travels, the dream alone buoying them both despite their uncertain futures.

Hermione had soon retrieved the Chinese book Severus had given her, the pair of them both falling into laughter as they tried and failed to master even the most basic phrases. After one such disastrous attempt on Severus' part, Hermione couldn't help but laugh louder than she had before, unable to contain herself as Severus tried and failed once more with the phrase.

"You sound so ridiculous," she said between giggles.

"Kick a man when he's down," said Severus, "I'm doing my best."

"It's a T at best," said Hermione.

"Cheeky witch," said Severus before he reached out to her, catching her firmly around the waist and dragging her across the bed, pinning her beneath him as he began to tickle her.

Hermione shrieked both at the shock of his actions as much as his tickling fingers, so unused to him being so playful since he had been forced back into his adulthood. She fought him back, the pair of them rolling in the sheets in a far more innocent game than anyone would have cast them in should they have borne witness to it. Hermione cried out again as Severus once more gained the upper hand but it was not the sound that made him freeze above her but instead the sound of her bedroom door slamming back on its hinges. Faster than any one else could have cast the spell, Severus had rolled from Hermione and called his wand from where he had left it amongst his robes in the bathroom. That alone though was not fast enough for their assailant and his wand was sent flying from his hand the moment it had retrieved it.

"Snape! You bastard, leave her alone."

"Harry no!" cried Hermione, "Expelliarmus!"

Harry's wand went flying from his hand but that did not stop the boy before her as he launched himself across the room at his teacher, Severus not putting up a fight as the younger man pushed him to the floor. Hermione rushed to the door rather than to the pair, knowing that Severus could handle it for the moment and more concerned about further people being woken by the sound of their struggle. She slammed it shut and locked it tightly before she turned back to the pair struggling on the rug. A burst of magic split them apart but Harry quickly recovered himself and moved back towards Severus with the same vehemence as before. This time however Severus did not yield to the force, using Harry's momentum against him and flipping him onto his back, pinning him to the floor.

"Harry, for Merlin's sake, I'm not your enemy," said Severus.

Harry continued his struggle for a moment before he paused, looking up at the man above him, "What?"

Hermione smiled as she leaned against Severus' shoulder, "Severus isn't your enemy, Harry," she said, tapping the older man and encouraging him to release the younger.

"What?" said Harry again, straightening his glasses as he sat up, "But you said…"

"I lied," said Hermione, "I've been lying since the start of term. I'm sorry."

"But I don't…"

"Up," said Severus, cutting Harry off as he took hold of his wrist and yanked him to his feet and turned him to the nearest chair, "Sit."

Harry looked up at his former friend, green eyes searching the black before him, "Severus?" he said.

Severus smiled, "Well its better than Snape you bastard," he said.

"But you…" began Harry, once more before trailing off, looking between Hermione and the man before him, "What on earth is going on?"

"I think we might need some more tea, P.B," said Severus, hearing Harry's gasp at the familiar nickname, "This may take a little while."

"Couldn't agree more sweetheart," said Hermione, unable to help the laugh at the look on her friend's face, "Though I think our Harry might need something a little stronger."

The tea was made, drunk and the cups long forgotten by the time Severus and Hermione had finished their confession to their friend, Harry's disbelief slowly melting away until he was smiling in relief at the truth that had been denied to him. The younger man had been angry that he had been kept so in the dark but soon understood Severus' reasoning, though Hermione fought to contain a bristle as he tried to defend Dumbledore's part in Severus' transformation. It was only the clock striking three that reminded them all that it was the middle of the night and the eve of one of Gryffindor's biggest Quidditch matches.

"I'd best let you get to bed," said Severus, sitting back in the chair he had drawn up to the fire, Harry sat opposite him and Hermione knelt at his feet, "Can't have our seeker too sleepy to see the snitch now."

"Thought you'd be cheering Slytherin on again now," said Harry, though there was no accusation in his tone.

"You noticed I didn't take back the role of house head," said Severus, "I'm still red and gold underneath it all."

Harry smiled, "Glad to hear it," he said, "I just can't believe that you're you. The others…"

"No Harry," said Hermione, "You mustn't tell the others. We weren't even meant to let you know."

"Hermione's right," said Severus, "I never wanted to lie to you Harry but I did so to keep you safe and for you to continue to be safe we need to carry on as we have been. To all intents and purposes you have to hate me, at least when everyone else can see. I'd love to let the others know but one of them is bound to blow my cover. Until this is over, until the threat from You-Know-Who is gone, you need to make everyone believe that you hate me otherwise everything is lost."

Harry nodded, "Ok," he said, "But promise that I can see you. I've spent this whole term hating someone I thought was my best friend and now I know I didn't need to I don't want to lose you again."

Severus smiled, "We'll make something work," he said, "But it won't be often otherwise people will get suspicious. Now get to bed, or I'll have to start taking house points."

"Yes sir," said Harry, getting to his feet, pulling Severus into a hug as the other man stood, "I'm glad you're back."

"I never left," said Severus, "But I know what you mean."

Hermione stood back, watching the two men exchange the heartfelt goodbye, knowing that it would bring solace to the both of them. They finally parted and Harry headed to the door, the two exchanging predictions for the Quidditch match that had Hermione rolling her eyes before Harry left the room, hoping that no one else would have got up to wander the common room as Harry did whenever he couldn't sleep. She thought of the rumours that would abound if anyone did see the boy leave but she knew it would at least distance her further from a relationship with Severus.

She barely even flinched as the lights extinguished around her, leaving the room bathed only in pale moonlight as a large, firm hand took hold of her own. She turned to look up at the man beside her, seeing the warm, familiar smile that was all the brightened by the past hour. Without a word she followed him to the large bed, curling into the warm blankets and warmer body before finally giving in to sleep, knowing the world would be a little brighter come morning.


End file.
